Glue Sticks and Crayons
by justlook3
Summary: AU: Young widower and curator Jacob Stone raises his twins with the help of his sister Eve Carsen. Jake takes his kids to summer reading at his brother-in-law Flynn's library where sparks fly when he meets children's librarian Cassandra Cillian.
1. Jacob Stone

Author's Note: This was previously published on AO3. The story was partially rewritten after original publication to change a subplot. The most significant rewrite is in chapter 8, the rest of the chapters have minor or no changes.

* * *

Jacob Stone pulled his truck into his garage, carefully pulling around the car parked in the driveway. Home finally! He pulled on the bowtie of his tuxedo and sighed. Black tie fundraisers were the absolute worst part of the job that he otherwise loved. But it was all part of the museum world, particularly art museums. Hobnob with the beautiful people in hopes that they would donate money or better yet part of their private collections to the museum.

He smirked at himself in the rearview mirror as the garage door closed behind him. What would May have thought if she could see him now? She'd have laughed at the notion that he actually owned a tux now, she'd had a tough enough time getting him to wear a suit at their wedding, let alone a tux. But she probably would have appreciated how he looked in it. Then he sighed, abruptly shutting that thought down. It had been a really long time without female companionship, he wasn't going to go there now, not tonight.

Tonight he needed to send his sister home. Knowing Evie, she was probably asleep on the couch in front of _House Hunters_.

She was watching _House Hunters_ , but she was awake when he walked in, a bowl of popcorn half eaten on the table in front of her.

"Hey conquering hero, how did it go?"

He flopped on the couch next to her. "'Bout as well as it ever goes. Hated every damn minute, but I think we raised a lot of money for the new wing."

"Looking like that, I'm sure you got a lot of numbers."

"Eve . . . ." His tone was more tired than annoyed.

"Jake . . ." she reached over and ruffled his hair. "How long has it been? May wouldn't have wanted you . . . ."

Jake grumbled. He knew Eve meant well, but he was tired of others talking for his late wife. Still, May probably would have wanted him to find someone. "I have tried. I have. But they either don't want the kids or they want the kids and not me. That's what happened with Hope. And that was two years ago. I haven't even bothered since."

Eve hummed at him.

"Evie, do not set me up with anyone. Warnin' you."

"You set me up with Flynn and look how that turned out."

Jake chuckled in spite of himself. "And that was supposed to be a revenge setup, I didn't think you'd even like the guy. I mean, I know you love him, but Flynn's a little . . . ."

"Weird?" Eve smiled at the thought of her husband. "On him it works. But okay, fine, no setups. Anyway, I need to get going. The kids were fine as always. Did you need me to take them to the library on Monday?"

"Nope," Jake smiled."I have the day off. They have been so excited about this ever since the kickoff party. All I keep hearing about is summer reading and Miss Cassie. Oh and Uncle Flynn's stories."

Eve smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Night, little brother. I'll see ya later."

"Thanks again, Evie. For everything."

After he saw Eve out, Jake climbed the stairs to check on his children. Twins, a boy and a girl, May had laughed when they found out. "One pregnancy and a complete family!"

Maggie's room was first, he turned up her ceiling fan, noticing that it was a bit warm in the room. She was sleeping, her stuffed French poodle in her arms. A very girly room, full of pink and purple, a large mural of the Paris skyline on the wall. Jake smiled as he leaned down and kissed his daughter's forehead. She was so much like the mother she barely remembered.

Matt, by contrast, was all about dinosaurs and baseball. Though Jake could certainly see flashes of both of his parents' artistic sides. The boy had just turned six yet his drawings were already getting the notice of his teachers. Jake grinned, it was a good thing he had a high IQ of his own, it was the only way he was going to handle when his smart children started really getting ahead in school.

May had wanted to home school them and Jake really wished he could. He wanted to encourage their intelligence in a way that he'd never had. But he'd already had to work hard enough to be able to spend time with them as it was.

"Oh May, I'm doin' my best."

He'd had plans for a shower, but now, lost in memories, he sank down onto his bed.

He'd gone to college on a football scholarship, telling all his friends that art history was just a blow off degree. He was going to the pros. But sweet Mabel Collins, May to everyone since she hated her old fashioned name, had saw straight through her classmate's bull. She knew he was gifted and she did everything she could to get him to admit to everyone else. He had eventually, after he'd fallen so deeply for her that there was no way he was ever going to get out. His friends never understood what he'd even seen in her. She was pretty, but she certainly wasn't the cheerleaders of his youth. But then, none of them knew who he really was or who he really wanted.

And what he'd wanted had been Mabel. An injury senior year had ended any hopes he'd had for the pros. Instead, May'd talked him into going to grad school with her. They'd married right after graduation and put off a family while they pursued their master's degrees. His in his passion art history, hers in library science.

They'd moved to Dallas where he worked his way up the ladder in the art museum. May had worked with Flynn at his previous position before he'd taken the director role in their local suburban library. Then after six years of marriage, they'd had the twins. Life was perfect, the two of them so full of plans for their children and their lives together.

But then . . . the twins were 23 months old when Mabel had been killed in a car accident. And Jake's world had come crashing down around him.

No one ever expects to be widowed at barely 30, with two children and no clue. If it wasn't for his mother and sisters, he didn't think he'd have made it.

He did his best. Loved his kids fiercely, tried to keep their mother's memory alive. He'd tried dating, but the kids and his grief hadn't really helped. He hadn't been over May. Probably wouldn't ever be, but these days her memory was a happy one and not a stabbing pain. Maybe he could move on. But he just hadn't met anyone. He wasn't looking for an exact clone of Mabel, but he had a type. And he wanted someone like she'd been. Sweet, funny, artistic, smart. And she had to love his kids.

"This is all your fault Eve. Don't get these ideas in my head. It only makes me feel lonelier. "


	2. Miss Cassie

It was a relatively quiet Saturday at the library and children's librarian Cassandra Cillian was taking advantage of the peace to finish up her prep for this week's summer reading events.

"Seriously, I don't even know why I have to come in on Saturdays," grumbled her co-worker Ezekiel Jones, who was currently throwing pencils at the ceiling tiles. "Teenagers don't come in to the library on weekends."

"Some of them do."

"Not during the summer they don't."

Cassandra rolled her eyes and moved her own cup of pens and pencils away from the edge of her desk in case he ran out of ammo. "You're lucky Mrs. Carsen isn't here."

"What is with that? She doesn't even work here, but she comes in like a drill sergeant."

"And scares you to death," smirked Cassandra, looking back down at the craft project she was working on.

"Whatever. So, got plans tonight?"

"Ezekiel, you know the answer to that."

"Yeah, never. Come on, Cassie, you need to get out live a little. He wasn't worth it."

"He tried," Cassandra said in a soft voice. It was a common problem though, with dates and even some friendships. Her chronic migraines were hard for others to handle. This was on top of the synesthesia she'd already had. At the library, her co-workers knew her well enough to tell when a migraine or a difficult spell of synesthesia was coming on and she'd yet to frighten a child with it. But it hadn't always been the case. Cancelling plans, needing to sit in the dark, sometimes vomiting or fainting, all of these tended to make maintaining a relationship with a boyfriend difficult. So Cassandra had made herself be content with her work, the friends that had stuck around and her cat.

Ezekiel shook his head. "Not good enough. If he was worth it, he could have handled it. You're not looking in the right places, that's all."

"Somehow Ezekiel, I don't think that I'll meet anyone in the places you go either."

"I've met some really lovely people at the clubs I've been to . . . ."

"Those places trigger my headaches, honey."

Ezekiel sighed. Bringing up her headaches was always a good way to shut him up. Besides, she wasn't lying about that.

"Wanna break into some place we shouldn't then?"

Cassandra giggled. "No, Ezekiel. Thanks though."

He shrugged, aiming a pencil at the ceiling. "Your loss, kid." He often called her that, even though he was actually younger than her.

He was about to throw one, when he was startled by a throat clearing. Mr. Jenkins (no one knew his first name but possibly Flynn) entered carrying a stack of children's books.

"Mr. Jones, I'm assuming you are going to get the step ladder out and remove those pencils so that the cleaning staff doesn't have to?"

Ezekiel looked like he was going to argue, but then turned and headed toward the maintenance closet.

Jenkins huffed. "I cannot imagine how a ruffian such as he managed to graduate with an advanced degree."

Cassandra shook her head. She had her own theories about Ezekiel's actual qualifications for the job. However, no one could argue with the young man's success at reaching the local teenage population. Their use of the library had grown considerably since he came on board.

"Are those for me?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, Ms. Cillian, those are the books you requested I put a rush on. Very popular with the younger set, I assume?"

"Some of them, yes. Others I wanted to showcase this week during summer reading. The kids are going to love hearing Flynn read this one. Thank you so much."

Jenkins quirked one of his rare smiles at her and then vanished into the back. She turned back to the books. Even though she did many of the story times, Flynn had such a knack for a tale that once a week, he held his own well attended story time. She could already see this becoming a town institution, generations coming to hear Flynn read a story. He could take a book that he'd never seen before and bring it to life. The kids loved her, but she didn't have Flynn's unique gift. Few people did.

The short summer work day was soon over and although Ezekiel once again offered to do something, Cassandra declined and headed home.

She told herself she needed to rest up for her busy week ahead. Though she really knew better.

* * *

"Eve, darling, I really don't think you should be trying to set your brother up on a date."

"Why not? He set us up and it worked."

Flynn chuckled. "That was a revenge setup because you were meddling in his life."

"I'm not trying to meddle Flynn. He's lonely, his kids need a female in their life . . . ."

Flynn put his arm around his wife. "I know he is. And I know you're just doing this out of love for him. But . . . ."

"What?"

"Do you think he's ready to move on?"

"He's had a couple of girlfriends . . . ."

"Doesn't mean he was ready. May was the love of his life. And she was my friend, I'm finding it difficult to think of finding someone to take her place."

Eve huffed. "I know she was your friend! I know how much he loved her. They were together for eleven years, since they were teenagers. They had their whole lives ahead of them and it isn't fair. But he's still a young man, he can't spend the rest of his life alone. She'd have hated that."

Flynn nodded. "Yes, she would. But she would want him to find the right person. Another true love. Not just anyone. Someone special."

They stopped and looked at each other, both speaking at once. "Someone like . . ."

"Cassandra."

"No, no, no." Flynn said. "I mean I agree with you. Cassandra has always reminded me of May. But she's my employee and I would like to keep her."

"Why wouldn't you keep her if she dates Jake?"

"What if they break up and she blames me? She's unlucky in love that one. I want her happy, she's the best children's librarian I've ever had. I don't want to break in a new one. So no, no, no. We are not setting them up."

"We may not have to."

"Oh?" Flynn raised an eyebrow.

"Jake's taking them to the library on Monday for summer reading. Miss Cassie made quite the impression on the twins. Jake says that's all they've been talking about."

Flynn grinned. "So we might not have to do anything at all. All the charming Miss Cassie has to do is u se her charming charm. Oh that's a lot of charm."

Eve giggled. "She does have a lot of it. And my brother is handsome, has two adorable children and is not without his own charms. Don't tell him I said that though."

"Promise me you will not meddle."

"Scout's honor."

"You weren't even a Girl Scout, Mrs. Carsen."


	3. Story Time

Jake tried to drink his coffee as his excited children ate breakfast, mostly spending time chattering at him then eating. They were excited about the library program but even more excited about spending the day with their father.

It had been rough since May died. After he returned to work after taking an extended bereavement leave, Jake had tried hard but wasn't really able to do much with his kids during the week. Eve, being a high school teacher, had summers off so she mostly took them to summer activities, especially the library for the last two years. His mother took care of things most of the rest of the year, especially after his other sister Mary had moved to Austin.

But this summer was going to be different. Personnel and budget changes at the museum meant that he had the freedom this summer to juggle his schedule. The twins would be in first grade in the fall, so Jake wanted this last summer before they went to school full time to be a special one. So summer reading as much as he could, the water park, a Rangers game, maybe even Six Flags were all in planning.

"So I take it Miss Cassie is nice?" He laughed, addressing his daughter who'd been talking about how pretty Miss Cassie's hair was. This year they'd not been to many of the library programs except when Flynn took them for the day, so they were particularly looking forward to seeing the children's librarian.

"She's super nice," Matt piped in. "She knows all about dinosaurs. Even their real names."

"Real names?" Jake looked at him. "Oh, like what the scientists call them?"

Matt nodded his head, "Yep. She said she had some books that I should read."

"And she knows you can read bigger kid books?"

Maggie nodded, "She knows. She said she did when she was our age too. She's really smart. And pretty."

Jake suddenly was a little suspicious of his kids. They'd gone on like this about their kindergarten teacher too. Which was pretty funny when he'd met her, six months pregnant and a ring on her left hand. But then the kids really didn't know what they were doing. And they probably did really like Miss Cassie. Maggie was into her pretty stage (last year she was into lizards) and Matt admired anyone who liked dinosaurs.

"Alright, the sooner you finish your breakfasts, the sooner you can get dressed. And then we can go to the library."

* * *

Cassandra was studying herself nervously in the staff bathroom. Why she got like this before a story time, she had no clue. Especially before the first one of the season. She had the craft supplies all laid out on the tables, the music cued up, the story ready, the little dance memorized. But she always had minor stage fright a few minutes beforehand. She smoothed her dress, making sure it was hanging right. Today she was wearing a gray and pink floral skater dress, bright pink tights and a pair of gray Converse hi tops. She'd been wearing a fluffy blue cardigan due to the icy air conditioning, but she figured with moving around she'd probably be hot. She adjusted her necklace (a little gold cat), took a deep breath and went out to face her patrons.

She stopped behind the desk to check out the scene. The early arrivals were probably already seated in the story hour pit. One mom was chasing a toddler who'd wandered away from his older siblings. The moms gathered around near the back, catching up on the latest gossip. There were a couple of grandmothers, one grandfather and the Russian nanny of one of the kids who always seemed more comfortable with the grandparents then the mothers. She did notice one man, looking a little uncomfortably at the moms, focusing his attention on two kids who ran up to him.

She recognized the kids now, the girl with long curly hair, the boy with a short mop of brown curls. She knew they had blue eyes and they were twins. The girl was wearing a purple gingham top and a pink skirt, the boy was wearing shorts and a tee-shirt with a dinosaur on it. They were her boss Flynn's niece and nephew, or more specifically his wife's niece and nephew. She'd never met their mom or dad. They either came with Eve or with their grandmother. She'd thought nothing of it, during the school year in particular, several of her story time patrons came in with grandmothers or grandfathers. These days both parents often worked full time.

She took her last calming breath, put on a smile and went out to greet her audience.

The twins were the first to see her and she had to keep from laughing when they ran up to her, the boy tripping over his feet in his haste. "Miss Cassie! Miss Cassie!"

"Hello Matt and Maggie, I haven't seen a lot of you this year. You've both grown."

"Our grandma wasn't feeling well a lot, so we couldn't come. But we're here for the summer." Maggie said, her voice serious.

"Is your Aunt Eve here? I had something to tell her."

"No," Matt said. "Our daddy brought us today."

Maggie had left and was pulling the man forward. He was chuckling at her attempts. "Miss Cassie, this is our Daddy."

Cassandra had to stifle her gasp when she met the blue of his eyes. And she wasn't completely sure she was imagining the slightly dazed expression in his either. They stared at each other for the space of a couple of heartbeats when Matt nudged his father.

"Daddy. . . you're doing it again."

He shook his head as if to clear it. He really was rather handsome, especially when a sheepish expression crossed his features.

"Sorry, I think I drifted. Jacob Stone, ma'am." He held out his hand to shake.

"Ma'am?" Cassandra giggled, shaking his hand. "Usually it's Miss Cassie at the top of a child's lungs. Cassandra Cillian."

"That's a real pretty name."

She actually blushed, this man was a charmer. "So you're Eve's brother?"

"That I am. I have some free time this summer, so Eve'll be more in Flynn's hair then yours I reckon."

"I look forward to it." They shared a smile even as Cassandra mentally kicked herself. Father, probably **married** , you _idiot_. Though she did note as they let her walk away that he was not wearing a ring.

* * *

Jake leaned back against the wall as story time began. _Wow_. He was not expecting Cassandra at all. He didn't know what he'd been picturing in his head but it hadn't been big blue eyes and gorgeous heaps of red hair. His mouth had gone dry and he'd remembered another time when a girl that his buddies wouldn't have found beautiful had knocked him senseless.

 _It was the first time he'd ever seen Mabel. He'd been all of 19, secretly a romantic, secretly in love with everything art. The guys had always scoffed. "Okay, yeah man, May's pretty and all but she's not hot." But they didn't see her like he did. Especially that first day, when he'd seen her out in the garden outside the art building, the sun hitting her hair like a painting, her blue eyes glowing as she sketched a flower. He'd fallen in love at first sight with the girl, though it took six months of arguing with himself before he'd asked her out._

Cassandra seemed nothing like May but at the same time seemed just like her . . . .A type, he had one. And he might have just found one of his type.

The moms had moved away so they could continue their adult conversations without interrupting Cassandra yet still keep an eye over the kids. The grandparents had fallen silent and the nanny was busy looking at her phone.

But Jake stayed where he was, against the wall out of the way, captivated by the woman in front of him. It was all kid's stuff really. A clapping song, a little dance, but she looked like she was having as much fun as the kids where. Then she read the story in her clear lovely voice. She didn't do the voices like he'd heard Flynn did, but she still kept the kids enthralled.

Then it was time for the craft project. The moms came back as they usually needed to help the kids out. He knelt on the floor between Maggie and Matt and for about 15 minutes, he managed to keep the pretty librarian out of his thoughts as he was engrossed in glue sticks and crayons .

When they were finished, they wanted to show their uncle their crafts and Cassandra was busy cleaning up. So Jake let the kids drag him off to see Flynn and he didn't get to talk to her again.

But he made a mental note to call his sister that evening and ask her a few questions about the red head.


	4. Careful What You Google

After the morning's story hour was cleared away, Cassandra went back to her desk lost in thought. She knew she should be getting herself ready for the afternoon event. But she was thinking of that handsome man with the blue eyes and the sweet children.

She also realized Ezekiel had been calling her name for a while.

"Yes?"

"Geez, where were you?"

"I was just thinking about. . . um. . . a craft project I want to do later."

"Sure, anyway, I was going to order Chinese for lunch. Do you want in?"

"Yeah, get me the usual."

Ezekiel scribbled down her order on a piece of paper and started to go ask some of the others if they wanted in.

Cassandra stopped him for a moment, "Hey, Ezekiel?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know anything about Mrs. Carsen's brother?"

Ezekiel squinted at her, turning his head. "Huh?"

"The twins came in today."

"Oh, I thought I heard them running in yapping at Flynn. I don't do six year olds. I was trying my hardest to hide out from story time as it was."

"Their dad came in with them. I've never seen them come in with a parent before . . . ."

"Hmm, interesting."

"What?" Cassandra blushed.

"I'm just saying you seem like you were interested in Flynn's brother-in-law."

"He's probably married," Cassandra shrugged. "I was just curious as to why they're always here with their grandmother or Eve."

"Their folks probably work. Lots of people do, it's not the 50s."

"Yeah," Cassandra turned back to her desk and Ezekiel wandered off whistling.

Things got rather busy after that and Cassandra pushed her musings about Jacob Stone and his children to the back of her mind.

* * *

That evening, Cassandra was trying to catch up on her DVR but her mind just wasn't in to what she was watching. She flipped through a few channels but nothing caught her eye.

Sighing heavily, she turned off the tv and grabbed her laptop. She quickly checked twitter, pretty quiet tonight.

She was intending to waste some time on YouTube, maybe watch a cat video or five. But instead she found herself pulling up Google. And entering the name of the father she'd met this morning.

His Facebook page wasn't all that promising, the posts were friends only. The only useful info was the profile picture of him with the twins, from the looks of it dating from Christmas.

A bare bones Linked In profile gave her the information that he was currently an art museum curator. Bachelor and Master's Degrees from Oklahoma. Of course, Oklahoma, she could hear the twang in his voice. His sister's accent was much softer, but once Eve had mentioned she'd gone to the school on the East Coast and lived there for a few years. Art history though.

She never would have pegged him for that. He wasn't very tall but he had the build of a football player. Probably had been once. The jeans, the button down shirt, it had all been a bit of the cowboy about him. A museum didn't seem to suit him exactly. But then it was his day off.

But now she was even more intrigued by this man. Was he divorced? A weekend and holiday dad? That would certainly explain why she hadn't met him before. But still, the twins seemed to live in the area and she'd never even heard a mention of their mother. Now that she thought about it, the grandmother had been introduced as Mrs. Stone. And once there had been another aunt other than Eve with the twins.

"Very strange," she said out loud. Then kept going, "Cassandra, you need to stop this. You are prying into this man's life."

But then she thought about how he looked at her. She had felt his eyes on her during the whole story hour and she'd had to work hard to not blush. And it wasn't the way most men looked at her either. She knew she was reasonably attractive and had had her share of admiring glances. But never this. He looked at her like she was . . .well art. Art specialist after all, of course he looked at people like that. That's all it was. Wasn't it?

Still though . . . .

Even without realizing it she'd backed into the search results, adding Matt and Maggie's names to the search. That's when she found it.

An obituary for Mabel Collins Stone.

The name seemed old fashioned. Maybe this was a relative and Jacob and the children were listed as descendents?

But as the page came up and a young woman's face appeared on the screen . . .a young woman whose smile she'd seen just this afternoon on two children . . .Cassandra's eyes filled with tears.

"Oh no," she whispered.

Mabel (May) Collins Stone . . . survived by her husband Jacob, her children Matthew and Margaret . . . .

Cassandra felt herself reaching toward the screen, running her fingers across the words. The date was four years ago, that poor woman had barely had time with her children, the children probably barely remembered her. Cassandra clicked the browser button to close it, sitting back against the couch trying and failing to stifle a sob.

She felt terrible. For Jacob, for his wife, for those children. Felt terrible for prying. Felt like she'd completely invaded his privacy. She knew this was all public record but she didn't have to go looking for it. She didn't know him.

Cassandra sighed. She really didn't know him. And now she knew he had baggage. But so did she. She had been looking for someone who saw past her health issues, he probably was looking for someone who could accept his late wife's role in his life.

 _Cassandra Cillian, you said maybe a dozen words to the man. You do not know him. It's not like you're dating. He's a parent, treat him like one and move on._

 _Except . . . ._

She'd felt a connection there. Odd as it was. There was certainly attraction, she wasn't going to pretend she hadn't been attracted to him and it seemed mutual.

But she knew she couldn't do anything about it. If there was anything beyond her imagination, he had to make the first move on her. And then she was going to have to be upfront right away about her health. She couldn't spring that on him and didn't want to add that to what stress he already had. Raising two kids alone . . . she knew a little about what kind of a toll that took on someone.

She took a deep breath. She'd felt terrible for prying but now she felt glad she had. She was prepared now. All she could do when it came to Jacob Stone was be nice and smile, maybe a bit more than she normally would. The ball was in his court.

"Gonna be an interesting summer," she said to her cat who'd taken up residency on her lap. "Well, cat videos, Sparky?"


	5. Star Wars and Other Battles

Jake chuckled as he sat on a lawn chair on his deck, one eye on the grill, the other on his children who were running around on the other side of the yard. They both were armed with water guns and he was pretty sure Maggie was winning this round. Though that was because she was playing Princess Leia and Matt was a hapless storm trooper, but it didn't matter.

"Die rebel scum!" Matt yelled, chasing his sister behind a tree.

"Language!" Jake yelled himself, getting up and heading toward the grill.

"But it's in the movie!" came from Maggie between giggles and shouts of "I'll never join you!"

Jake just shook his head and checked on the burgers. They looked done but would need to stand, so he took them off, shut down the grill and glancing back to make sure the kids were okay, headed back into the house.

A few minutes later, he went out to get the kids for dinner.

"Hey, dinner's about re-" but he was interrupted by Maggie's shout of "It's Darth Vader!" and then Matt apparently had switched sides because suddenly he was being squirted by both twins.

"Do not make me go all Dark Side on you," he said, looking over his shoulder, the remaining super soaker was too close to the house and probably empty. He was out of options.

So he reached forward and tickled Maggie who was standing closest to him. With a shriek of laughter, she squirmed to move away but sent him off balance. That's when her twin joined in and the three of them fell over in a dog pile.

"Oh no," Maggie giggled. "Darth Vader has captured us!"

"And Han Solo isn't here to save you," Jake said, tickling her. "So you're both being sent to the Death Star where you'll need to wash up for dinner."

"Okay, Daddy," Matt said, rolling up and giving his sister a hand up. They both held out their hands to their father and they had a mock struggle getting him up.

"Hand over your weapons," their father said, tousling his son's hair. "I'll meet you inside."

He emptied the guns and put them in the plastic bin that sat beside the house. Star Wars was a favorite in their house, one of the few memories the twins had was watching it with their mother. She'd loved those movies. He wasn't sure they remembered the specific movie, but Maggie and Matt both swore that they remembered popcorn and music and Mama reading the titles.

He sighed. That night had been only a couple of days before she'd died. One of his last memories of her, other than kissing her goodbye that morning . . . .

He closed his eyes in brief pain. _Was_ _that ever gonna get easier? It is though, it doesn't hurt every single morning any more. Just every now and then._

And it was true, as long as he didn't think about that one day, most thoughts of May only made him smile.

Like for example, he grinned at the thought of how she'd probably scold them all for eating dinner covered in grass stains. And with that thought, he went in to finish dinner preparations.

* * *

He reached into the fridge to grab the condiments and when the door shut his eye fell on the library summer reading flyer tacked to the front. A smile flickered across his face as he remembered the pretty redhead telling the story. The story times were every Monday and Wednesday, he noticed, though he was pretty sure Flynn had the Wednesday stories. There was a magician in two weeks and then a dinosaur program (that Matt had circled and starred) two weeks after that. Next week there was a movie.

Not a whole lot of options for a sooner casual drop by the library to see her then. Unless he brought the kids by on Wednesday. Which wasn't going to happen this week. He sighed.

What on earth was he doing?

 _Head out of the clouds and back to dinner, Jacob Stone._

Over dinner, the conversation shifted to what the kids wanted to do that summer. There was a special dinosaur exhibit at the zoo, which Matt wanted to see, of course. Maggie rolled her eyes, but she liked the rest of the zoo. Maggie wanted to go to the children's garden. And they both wanted to go to the water park. But neither was really sure about Six Flags.

"Maybe we could go to Sea World?" Maggie asked.

"I don't know, we'd have to go for a few days and I'm not sure if you want to sit in the car that long."

"We sit in the car when we go see Grandma and Grandpa Collins," Matt pouted.

"I'll think about it, okay? I was thinking more about goin' to Austin to see your Aunt Mary. But I haven't talked it over with her yet, so we'll think about it."

"You really can do all this stuff, Daddy? Last summer we didn't." Maggie asked with a little concerned frown.

"This summer I can. I promise. I know it's hard, it's harder on me not being able to spend time with you guys. This summer is gonna be great, trust me."

Both kids got up from the table and ran around to either side of their father, giving him big hugs. He kissed both of them on the side of the head, thinking not for the first time, of how much they looked like their mama. She'd be proud of them.

"Okay, now finish supper. Just cuz it's summer doesn't mean we aren't sticking to the rules. Washin' the dishes, readin' time and regular bed."

* * *

They were probably too old for a story, but he read them both one anyway that night and sent them to bed.

Finally they were asleep and he headed downstairs. He picked up the remote but didn't actually turn on the tv. Nothing really appealed and he was thinking of reading instead. His phone buzzed with a text from Eve about Wednesday. He answered that he did need her to take the kids to the story hour if they wanted to go and he'd double check in the morning.

And that's when the red head floated through his mind again. She had a few times over the course of the day and it had been a long time since that had happened. Fifteen years actually, back when he'd first met May.

He'd dated, or tried to, in the years since May but nothing had really worked out. He'd not been ready then. A year after May died, still shell shocked, still hurting, he'd fallen into bed with a woman he'd met at a conference. She worked at another Dallas museum and they'd tried after that weekend. But she'd never met his kids and it was pretty much just a physical relationship, his heart wasn't even close to being ready. It fizzled out after only a couple of months.

Hope was a year later, and had lasted about eight months, until he realized that all she was after was a family. They hadn't even been together three months when she'd brought up having a baby. Not that he was opposed to having more children, he and May just hadn't really talked about after the twins. Hope loved the twins and wanted a baby badly. But she didn't love him, she said she did, but he knew she only liked him. And if he was honest, he'd told her he loved her, but he hadn't, not really. It wasn't enough for either of them. He didn't need a mother for his kids that badly to cheat himself and someone else out of the real thing.

And neither of these women had made him thinking of a painting the way a woman in a floral dress and hi tops had. May had done that to him and he always felt like it was a sign.

He sighed heavily and before he knew it, he was dialing his sister's number.


	6. Happy Dance

"Hey Jake," Eve said answering the phone. "Do you know about Wednesday already?"

"No, I still have to check with the kids. I doubt they'll say no though. "

"So, then what's up?"

Jake scratched the back of his head. He wasn't even sure why he was calling Eve. He sighed. "I think I need some advice."

"Really?" Eve made herself comfortable on her couch, Flynn wasn't home yet, so things were quiet.

"I might have . . .I think I might . . .oh hell, Eve, what do you know about the children's librarian?"

Eve pumped her fist in the air, glad that her brother couldn't see her. "Cassandra?" she asked in a casual tone.

"Yes. She's, oh man Eve, she's like a work of art."

Eve would have done a happy dance if she wasn't sure her movement would give her away. "You met her today, I take it?"

"Yeah, seriously, this is stupid. We said maybe a dozen words to each other. You know, hi I'm Matt and Maggie's dad, that sort of thing."

"But you think she's cute."

"Yeah. Is she . . .is she seeing anyone? Does she um like guys?"

"Well, I admit I don't know her as well as Flynn does . . . ." Eve did suddenly think of one issue with Cassandra, but it was not her place to tell. "But as far as I know she does date men and she's single."

"That's um good. I don't even know . . .even if I wanted to. I mean the kids like her, so that's a big plus. And she seems sweet."

"She is. Flynn thinks the world of her. Would you maybe prefer to talk to him? I honestly don't know her that well."

"No, I just . . . wow."

"You were always a bit shy when it came to girls you really liked," Eve chuckled. Her voice slipped back into their native accent, "and I ain't talkin' about those cheerleaders in high school. You didn't like a single one of 'em."

"Well, Becky I suppose."

"You liked her well enough to sleep with her, but you didn't really like her. That didn't come until May and it took you six damn months to ask her out."

"Why do I tell you these things?"

"Cuz you don't have a brother?"

Jake sighed. "Fine. But Evie, it's been so long. Kerry, well, that was grief and alcohol and a really bad attempt to make something out of a one night stand. And Hope asked me out."

"Cassandra's a bit old fashioned," Eve cautioned. "That I do know. She won't ask you out. You'll have to make the first move. And she's outgoing when she's playing her role, but she's actually a bit shy. Oh dear, this isn't going to go well."

Jake actually chuckled, "So awkward as hell. If we're both shy and you're right, I can be."

"So you called asking for advice on how to approach her?"

"Yeah, I mean obviously my dating is really rusty. And I know it's probably bad form to ask her out when she's at work."

Eve bit her lip. She hadn't thought about that. "Well, why don't you just try seeing about having a conversation with her the next time you're in? And see from there? I'm sure you'll be able to tell if she's just being polite because you're a parent or if she really wants to talk to you."

"Yeah, actually that sounds . . .this is all silly. We hardly spoke to each other. There just was . . .I haven't felt like that in a long time."

"I'm . . ."Eve took a deep breath. "Part of me wants to squeal and say I'm happy for you. But obviously you haven't even gone out with the girl. It's just . . .I'm happy that you're thinking about it. I know it's been hard for you."

"May was hard to get over. She's still . . .I'm always gonna love her, Evie."

"I know."

"But it doesn't hurt so much anymore. Today there was a moment when it did hurt, but it was followed by all of these happy memories of her. I smile most of the time when I think of her instead of feeling like I've been punched in the gut. I can't spend the rest of my life alone, she'd be mad at me for that. But I . . . ."

"You want someone who makes you feel like she did. And you think Cassandra might be able to?"

"Maybe? I mean, we don't know each other. But she made me feel something today that I thought was dead. So progress? Even if it's not with her."

"And you called for my advice. You've got it all figured out Jakey."

Jake laughed. "Hardly. But actually, thanks for talking to me, Eve. Slow's the best I can do right now. So no meddling. And don't tell Flynn. And especially not Cassandra unless I lose my nerve and ask you too. Promise?"

Eve sighed, though she knew she wouldn't not tell Flynn. But she could make the promise about Cassandra. "I promise. Flynn's gonna be home soon, so I need to go."

"Yeah, good night Evie. "

"Good night, Jake."

* * *

Flynn came home a few minutes later, Eve gave him a big hug when he came through the door.

"What has got you in such a spectacular mood, my stunning wife?"

"Jake met Cassandra today."

"Oh, I knew that. The twins came in to show me their crafts. Come to think of it, Jacob did seem distracted."

"He was, Cassie made quite the impression on him. He called asking for advice on how to approach her."

Flynn sighed, "Did you tell him about her health?"

Eve shook her head. "That's Cassandra's business. And I did not meddle. I didn't offer to set them up, though I think Jake was hinting. He can be very shy if he really likes a girl. That's the way he was with May. That's how we knew he was serious about her. If he's not, he's all flirt."

"Then what did you say?"

"I just said that I was pretty sure Cassandra wasn't seeing anyone. I suggested he try engaging her in conversation. Mentioned that she's a bit shy too and old fashioned. He'll have to do the askin'."

"I'm proud of you dear wife. I thought for sure you'd jump right into this."

"I don't have to!" Eve said throwing her arms around his neck. "They're doing it all themselves. All I have to do is stand back and watch."

Flynn lifted an eyebrow. "And give a shove when necessary?"

"Who me?"


	7. Days at the Library

Wednesday afternoon story time came around. Flynn and Cassandra tag-teamed the Wednesday story. She did the singing (sometimes dancing) and the craft and he did the story. Flynn was in his office, preparing for his part (sometimes he came up with props from things lying around) and Cassandra was out greeting the arrivals.

Her ever present smile turned up in wattage when she saw the Stone twins come through into the children's area. It faltered a little when she realized that the adult with them was not their father but Eve.

The twins probably didn't even notice her brief disappointment but Eve did. She smirked to herself when Cassandra's attention was taken by the children.

 _Oh this is the best match making I've ever done and I never even had to lift a finger._

A bit later, Eve was standing next to Cassandra against the far wall. Flynn was currently acting out both sides of a sword fight much to the complete delight of the children in the audience.

"He is amazing at this," Cassandra whispered with a smile. "I wish I was half as good."

Eve smiled fondly at her husband. "Nonsense, Flynn speaks very highly of you. And the kids adore you." She looked over at the other woman with a smile. "My niece and nephew won't stop talking about you according to my brother."

She noticed Cassandra's spirits visibly lift. Eve had to bite her lip, remembering the promise she'd made to her brother not to say anything to Cassandra unless he asked her to. But it gave her hope that Cassandra had the same bit of a crush that Jake seemed to have.

"I met him the other day," Cassandra tried and failed not to blush. "He seemed very nice." She lowered her voice to the barest of whispers. "I looked him up . . . ." She cringed. "I know I was prying but I was curious as to why I never . . . ."

"Met their mother?" Eve put her hand on Cassandra's elbow and walked her over to a far corner of the children's section. If something happened with the twins, Flynn was there.

"Yeah, it was stupid of me. But . . . ."Cassandra looked sad. "I feel so bad for them."

"It's been rough, May was very special. She was a librarian, she worked with Flynn at his previous library."

Cassandra nodded her head, light dawning. Long ago she'd heard someone say that Eve's brother had set her up with Flynn. That explained how the two knew each other.

"The kids do better than Jake, but it's difficult. They don't get to spend as much time with him as he'd like. He's telling me this summer he's rearranged his schedule to do as much stuff as he possibly can with them."

"That's really great," Cassandra said softly. "I do know a little of what the kids are going through. My dad died when I was young, not as young as they are, I was 14. But it was so tough on my mom. And she went from stay at home parent to full time worker . . . . It's hard on everyone. I'm glad the kids have family like you and their grandmother though. We didn't have that."

"You turned out okay though," Eve grinned at her.

Cassandra laughed, "Not as okay as those two probably will. But okay enough. Eve . . . ."

"Yeah?"

"I think I like your brother. I know it's silly, I mean basically he told me his name. We didn't really get a chance to speak. . . ."

Eve smiled softly, "My brother is a very nice guy, very charming. Never tell him I said either thing though. "

Cassandra giggled and Eve continued. "He can be very shy though, so if you like him . . . ."

Cassandra looked nervous, "I'm even more shy, Eve!"

"I know. I just meant you'll need to be patient. And if I remember he responds really well to a pretty smile. And things will probably be slow."

"Slow is good," Cassandra said. "So smile and see how it goes?"

"Yep," Eve stopped. "Oh looks like Flynn has slain the dragon, so you're up."

"Thanks Eve, for everything. And please don't tell your brother about this? In case he's not interested, I want to be able to look him in the eye when he comes in with the kids."

"I won't, I promise."

* * *

It was Friday. Jake had made arrangements to only work half days on Fridays for the rest of the summer. On Wednesday when he'd got home, Maggie had told him sadly that she forgot to check out a book she'd wanted.

"Well, I could call Uncle Flynn, but how about we just run over there Friday afternoon? I could ask your uncle to make sure they hold it for you."

Maggie had hugged him and he'd grinned into her hair. His kids loved the library, getting that from their mother, but he didn't think he could have justified dragging them there a third time in a week just to catch a glimpse of Cassandra.

He was being stupid. And he hadn't felt this nervous since he was a teenager awkwardly courting Mabel. His palms were sweaty and he had to wipe them off on his jeans at every light. And they weren't sweating because it was hot, even though it was. He'd grown up in the Southwest, he was used to the heat. No, he was nervous and he wasn't sure exactly why. Other than it had been years and this was a grown woman he was interested in, not an equally inexperienced young woman.

He gave himself a stern talking to as he waited at the last light. The kids were singing along to a song on the radio. And their father was telling himself to act his age. He'd calmed down considerably by the time they'd pulled into the parking lot. Though he still had to wipe his palms one last time. This time he told himself it was because of the hot walk from the car.

"Flynn said your book is with Miss Cassie," Jake said to his daughter.

Maggie grinned and started ahead.

"No running!"

 _Great and no shouting either_. He reminded himself.

Matt followed along behind his twin at a much slower pace. Still though they got to the children's desk before him. Cassandra saw them coming and was handing the book over to Maggie.

When Jake got up to the desk, Cassandra looked up at him and her smile was dazzling. He almost had to take a step backwards. _Oh hell._

He was pretty sure he smiled back, now on autopilot. Her smile didn't falter, so he was pretty sure he'd managed to not turn her off.

He willed himself to act normally. A rather colossal feat but he used to pull this kind of thing off all the time when he was young and still wearing his costume.

"Were there any other books you guys wanted to look at?"

"You know what Matt?" Cassandra asked. "I totally forgot to show you where those dinosaur books are. Did you want me to show you?"

"Yes, please." Matt said with a big grin.

Maggie rolled her eyes and wandered off to check on if the latest book in the series she was reading was in.

Their father, on the other hand, was trying really hard not to stare at the children's librarian. She was in another floral dress, this one with a red print. It was low cut in the back and she'd made it suitable for work by wearing some sort of thin top underneath it. She was wearing purple tights and today little black shoes, he was pretty sure Maggie had a pair . . .Mary Janes maybe? He did his best with the kids clothes but he was very glad for his mother and sisters.

Matt had a stack of books and Jake told him to edit it down to three. Maggie sighed again at her brother.

"Maggie, what are you interested in? Maybe we can find a few books for you to sort through? I remember last year you really liked lizards."

Maggie made a face. "I do like horses . . . ."

"Okay, horse books are just around the corner from the dinosaurs."

Cassandra chuckled as she walked back to the desk looking at Jake. "Their tastes sure change quickly don't they?"

"This year she's very girly, last year she was into lizards and snakes." Jake shook his head. "I'm just hoping it's still a while before it's boys."

Cassandra smirked at him, but took her seat, deciding not to comment. Jake suddenly realized he'd run out of things to say and tried not to panic.

"You're good with them."

"Thank you, I really like my job."

He took a deep breath, _small talk Jacob, small talk_. "Have any of your own?"

She smiled a little sadly, "not yet. Just haven't met the right person yet." Inwardly she cringed but she figured it was the fastest way to throw out being single to him. "But until then I get to spend time with children and I love it."

He smiled back at her. "And they think you're the best. I've heard so much about you, it was non-stop."

She blushed. After a moment or two more of silence, she decided to go with something she already knew the answer to. "So what do you do, Jacob?"

"You can call me Jake."

"Alright, I'd say you can call me Cassie, but . . . ."

"You prefer adults call you Cassandra? That makes sense."

She nodded. "Exactly. The children just have a hard time saying my name. Anyway, I think I asked . . . ."

"You did. Sorry, I'm a curator at the art museum in Dallas."

"Oh, wow."

"Didn't expect me to say that did you? I know, I come off more cowboy than Eve. I probably would have stayed working the ranch but our daddy wanted us to get the education he didn't. Eve and our sister went off to the East Coast. I stayed in Oklahoma, football scholarship. But when I was there, someone special talked me into going into my real love. Which was art. And so here I am."

Cassandra smiled, "That's lovely. I tried to do something else too when I was young, but I really love what I do. And when you love what you do . . . ."

"You never work a day in your life," Jake grinned back at her. "Though admittedly I haven't always been able to . . . ."

He wasn't able to finish his sentence because the twins came up with their selections.

"Well, looks like it's time for us to head out. We'll be in on Wednesday for story time, I have to see Flynn do this, I've heard so much about it. Tell Miss Cassie goodbye and thank you."

The kids gave her a chorus of goodbyes and thank yous. Then they ran up to the circulation desk to check out their books.

Jake cleared his throat. "Um, Cassandra?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you be interested sometime in . . . ."

She smiled back encouragingly, which helped, because he really was starting to feel a little sick to his stomach from nerves. "Like talkin' sometime. . . .I don't get to talk to too many grownups outside work. Like I don't know exactly . . . wow, this is comin' out bad."

She blushed, her own nerves coming out. She could tell how nervous he was. "No, no, it's fine. You're fine. I'm kinda shy too."

"Really?" He blurted. "I mean with the kids."

"That's acting," he could see the blush continuing to make her redder. "I'd like to get to know you better too."

"I have plans with the kids this weekend, but maybe when I come in on Wednesday we can talk about uh talkin'?"

"I'd like that."

"I gotta, you know, the kids."

"Right, I'll see you on Wednesday, Jake."

He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling and she beamed back. When they left she realized two things. He hadn't mentioned his wife. And he hadn't thought to get her number.

And the first was probably not wanting to talk about it in a public setting. That made perfect sense. The second part. . . .Well, it probably hadn't even occurred to him. She imagined he'd get halfway home and realize. And his reaction would probably be adorable.

She started humming and spent the rest of her Friday in the best of moods.


	8. First Date Part 1

He hadn't gotten her number. _Idiot._ He thought about calling Flynn and asking for it. Or even calling the library. But he didn't know if she worked weekends or not and didn't want to keep bothering her at work.

So instead, he forced himself to wait. His plans with the kids kept him busy all weekend and he managed to lose himself in just enjoying his children.

Monday he had a minor work crisis to distract him. But Tuesday the nerves started up all over again. Wednesday morning, he was giving himself a pep talk while getting dressed.

"You're 34 years old," he muttered to his reflection. "Don't know how old she is, but she's probably not much younger. And the point is, you're not damn teenagers any more. You can do this. You dated Hope. Never mind that she did all the askin' and Cassandra just looks at you, like she's beggin' you to take the pressure off." He smiled then thinking about her blushing and realized then she was just as shy if not more than he was. "I can do this. Ask her out. Maybe this weekend. And for God's sake ask for her damn number."

* * *

A couple of hours later, he was treated to another dazzling smile by the lovely Ms. Cillian. That made him feel so much better about asking her out. Though it didn't really help the butterflies.

They were standing against the far wall, Flynn had his tie wrapped around his head as he ran around the stage telling a story about a princess and the ninja that loved her.

Jake had his head cast downward but not because he was having a fit of nerves, he was trying so hard not to laugh. He put his fist in front of his mouth and feigned a cough when he couldn't control the laughter.

The kids on the other hand were hooting with delight.

Cassandra grinned, "The kids love him."

"Yeah, I can see why, but . . . ."

She touched his elbow gently with her fingertips and tilted her head toward a quiet spot out of the story hour pit.

"That was hilarious," he grinned at her. His amusement helping to cut his nerves down. "So I was wonderin' . . . ."

"Well, I'm off tomorrow . . . ."

Jake looked really disappointed which made Cassandra's heart clench. "I'm sorry, I'm not free."

"It's my weekend off too . . . ."

There was that crinkly smile again. "Sunday? The neighbors are taking the kids to see that new Disney movie, so I'm free for a couple of hours. They'll probably just stay there and play afterwards too."

"Sunday, I could probably work that, what did you want to do?"

Jacob took a deep breath, he'd actually been practicing this and he was sure it showed. "They say there's a cold front comin' through, such that it ever is around here. But it might be nice enough to walk down in the sculpture park? And then maybe a late lunch? The kids won't be goin' til after church, I think 1pm."

"That sounds lovely," she smiled at him. "Would you like my phone number so you can call or text me about everything when you're sure?"

His smile was a little bashful. "I totally forgot to ask for it. I'm rusty at this datin' thing."

"I've never been good at it," Cassandra said, then winced like she shouldn't have said anything.

But Jake looked over at her and said, "maybe we'll get it right." Then his eyes widened as if he hadn't meant to say that out loud at all.

They stood there staring at each other for a what seemed like hours, but it probably was only a minute or two as applause from the story hour pit broke them out of the spell.

"I gotta . . . the craft."

"Yeah, the kids. I'll um call you . . .text . . .somethin'."

* * *

Cassandra did give him her number and he did text her. And Sunday afternoon they were strolling along the small sculpture garden in town, talking about this and that. Jake was trying to find a good way to bring up the subject of his wife and for her part, Cassandra was trying to figure out how to bring up her health. Neither were succeeding very well.

It was nicer than it had been, but Jake did wonder if Cassandra was hot. She was wearing tights again as usual, a blue pair with a pattern of roses on them. She was wearing pale green and blue plaid shorts and what he was sure was supposed to be a tank or sleeveless blue top over a soft pink tee-shirt. The girl liked her layers. And for whatever reason, she had a very adorable sexiness about her. It wasn't like the girls he remembered from high school or even Mabel but it worked for her. . . and for him.

He'd never been the shorts type of guy, so he had on a pair of cargo pants and a grey tee shirt. Lighter than the jeans and button downs he usually wore at least.

They'd been talking about the sculpture in front of them, Cassandra being puzzled by what it was supposed to be. Most suburban Dallas towns had large artworks of some sort but most were pretty obvious, longhorns and horses being the dominant theme. But this was a bit of abstract sculpture and he was trying to explain the meaning.

Numbers came up and suddenly Cassandra was a million miles away. She started mumbling, her eyes glazing over.

"Cassie? Cassandra!" He waved his hand in front of her face. She didn't seem to be responding, instead waving her hands back and forth as if she saw invisible bugs.

 _What the hell?_ Now she was scaring him, especially when she started to look very unsteady on her feet as if she was going to faint.

"Oranges . . ." she muttered and started to drop. Almost without thinking, he went into action, catching her before she hit the ground.

He managed to get her to a nearby bench. And she opened her eyes and looked at his terrified ones.

 _Oh my God, this man's wife died. He's probably scared to death._

"Are you okay?" He asked, his tone concerned and scared.

"I'm . . .I have . . ."

"Hold on, do you need some water or somethin'? Are you too hot?"

"I'm a little hot and water would be great . . . but . . . ." She looked over at his concern and nodded. "Could you get me some water?"

She knew that he needed something to do to help. He jumped up and nearly sprinted over to the hot dog vendor set up on the other side of the park. Before she knew it, he was back with a cold bottle of water.

She held it to her face for a moment before taking a sip.

"Um . . . "he looked like he didn't know how to ask.

She took a deep breath. The fainting spell she knew was the result of heat and getting too overwhelmed by the colors and smells of her synesthesia. But it was as good of time as any to tell him everything.

"I'm a number form synesthete and . . . ."

She was cut off by Jake, "I know what that is. I've read about it . . .that's what that was? The spell? But you fainted, I'm pretty sure . . . ."

Cassandra nodded. "That happens every once in a while but only with other factors involved. Today it was the heat and skipping breakfast. My brain wouldn't let me out of the spell in time and I got sick from all the colors and smells so I fainted."

Jake nodded his head. "That totally makes sense. But why do I have a feeling there's something else?"

She nodded softly. "I have chronic migraines. They sometimes last for hours, I've had some episodes that last for days, though not recently thank goodness. Flashes of light, vomiting, you know pretty much all the symptoms there are, I have them. And sometimes my synesthesia triggers them, though so far so good on this one."

Jake's voice was sympathetic. "That . . .sucks. No better way to put that."

She nodded. "People . . .I've lost friends . . .guys I've dated. Canceling plans, having to go home early, sitting in a dark room for hours, it's tough. And then there's the spells, usually no one can tell when I'm seeing math but sometimes what happened just now happens. And I swear that's worse for some people. I'm sorry Jake, I should have told you up front."

"Cassie, it's not . . .I have things to tell you."

"I kinda know already Jake . . . ."

"Eve told you?"

She shook her head, deciding that she might as well be honest and lose him now before it got worse. "I googled you. I found your wife's obituary. I am so sorry."

"Googled. . .well, of course you did. That's what people do these days. May would have done that. She was a librarian. She always said I had no clue how to use the Internet."

"I didn't . . .I don't know anything more though. I imagine someone so young . . ."

"No, no, she wasn't sick . . . it was a car accident." Jake took a deep breath. "It was quick, they tell me she wouldn't have felt anything. I thank God for that."

Cassandra nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry for prying."

"Don't . . .stop it. I should have told you, I imagine you probably thought a married man was flirtin' with you to begin with."

She nodded slowly. "But still, it's not like you would go broadcasting . . . just like I don't with my health."

"Cassie . . .Cassandra. Look, I . . .there's only been two relationships since my wife died. One was, well one was a big mistake, I wasn't ready at all for her. The other one, she wanted to be a mother at all costs. And I wanted more than she could give me . . .I've gone out on blind dates not countin' those two. Women . . .they can't handle my love for my wife or they can't handle the fact that I have kids. And . . .look . . .I'm always gonna love her. There's always gonna be part of me I can't give you. But if you're willin' to try, I don't see why your health would turn me off."

"Really? "

"I don't see why not. I mean you work with kids all day, so I don't think my children would trigger your headaches anymore than work does. If you need to cancel plans, well I know it's for a good reason. If you're feeling sick, then you're feeling sick. And um, I have two children, I've been thrown up on more times than you can imagine."

Cassandra giggled in spite of herself. Jacob Stone was proving to be the best first date she'd ever had.

He continued, "and synesthesia fascinates me, I was just reading the memoirs of an artist with that form. There were some neat tricks in there, maybe I can help. And if you can understand my feelings for Mabel . . . ."

"I think I can." Cassandra nodded. "My dad died when I was 14. I have a little understanding of what your kids are going through. I mean obviously, being older, I had more memories but . . . ."

"Still tough. Probably worse for you. The kids don't really remember her, some days it seems like it might be a blessing."

She shook her head. "No, it's not. I cherish those memories. All I had sometimes. It was just me and my mom. And she was . . .she is so lonely. She never . . . . I always thought my dad wouldn't have wanted her to be alone for the rest of her life. And I was an only child, we didn't have much family. My mother . . . ."Cassandra blinked. "She loves me, but I think she was so caught up in her misery. You . . .you seem like you're such a good dad. And you have Eve and their grandmother to help. They'll be okay. Better than how I turned out."

"They come first. Always. And I think you get that too. I was kinda dreadin' this convo. It's not always gone well. Women . . . ."

"Say they understand but don't?" Cassandra nodded. "Been there. I feel like . . .do you feel like . . . wow."

"We get each other?" Jake asked. "Yeah, from the second I met you. You reminded me of . . .I know this makes no sense because you really aren't much like May aside from being a librarian. But you have this way about you . . .like you'd get me, the same way she always did. And I feel like I get you, the same way I always got her. We weren't a thing alike me and Mabel aside from the art thing. She was an artist . . . . Tell me to stop, you don't wanna hear about my dead wife."

She reached over and squeezed his hand, "But I do. Sometimes. I don't want you to be like my mother, going on about my father as if . . . . Well, I think she had a lot of regrets . . . .I doubt you and May had any."

"No, we were happy. " He glanced over at her, thinking something he couldn't say out loud. Poor thing, he had a feeling that happiness had always been fleeting for her. Which is why the job of spreading joy, the smiles and the cheerful clothing. She tried her best. And he wished he could make her happy. "Hey, let's go have lunch okay? None of this." He stood up and held out his hand. "For the rest of the afternoon, let's just try the here and the now."

She put her hand in his. "That sounds perfect."


	9. First Date Part 2

Cassandra had tried to talk him into sitting on the patio at the restaurant but he was still a bit concerned about her spell. The heat had been an issue, she reflected, so she conceded to a seat in the air conditioned interior. They did manage to get an out of the way seat so they could carry on a conversation normally.

"No, I could see why you're concerned." Cassandra said, taking a bit of her salad and continuing with their conversation about the twins. "They read well beyond their level and since you're a genius, they . . . . What?"

Jake was staring at her. "How did you know I was . . . ."Then he shook his head as Cassandra made a little gesture with her hand. "Because you're a genius too. Of course, like sees like."

She nodded. "You might consider putting them into private school or hiring an additional tutor. The schools here are good, but they really aren't equipped to deal with gifted children below the middle school level."

"Mabel wanted to home school them. She wasn't a genius but she was more than smart enough to handle it. I just, obviously, as much as I'd like to do it . . . ." Jake sighed. "I keep thinking I'm going to need to find a job somewhere else. There's not a huge amount of money in what I do."

"And be miserable? " Cassandra shook her head. "I worked corporate, in research and development. The money was great but I hated it. The money is terrible now, but I love what I do. My mother . . . well that's why I'm in Texas and not still in New York."

"I didn't think you were from here originally."

"No, I came down with one of my research jobs and got burnt out so I went to library school here and stayed. I like it here. Like my co-workers, especially Flynn and Ezekiel, the ya librarian. And it's away from my mother and her disapproval."

Jake chuckled. "Mabel's mama is like that. But never ever repeat that in front of the kids. Though it's just as well I only take them up on holidays. If I hear one more, 'Jacob you really should consider a job not in the arts', I might scream."

"So the lady I've met is your mother? I figured. She's really nice."

"Yeah, she and Dad don't really understand but they've always supported us in everything. Daddy still works the ranch, Mama came down to Dallas after . . . .Well anyway, she's been tryin' to get him to come down here full time and retire, but that man ain't ever leavin' that land. It's amazin' how tight they still are even though they don't live together. Though when she got sick this winter, he was here all the time, worryin' over her."

"That's wonderful. I hope I have something like that someday."

"Yeah. . . ."Jake trailed off, working intently on his sandwich. He probably would have had that had fate not stepped in. But he wasn't gonna ruin this now. Especially with someone he felt this comfortable with. He'd not felt that way with Hope and especially not Kerry. This was different and possibly too fast.

"I'm sorry, I said something that reminded you of your wife, didn't I?"

"A little. It's . . . darlin' don't ever apologize for that. It's gonna happen. And it's not your fault. It doesn't . . .they're all happy memories now. The pain's mostly gone now. And . . ." Jake decided to change the subject. "And you, you feelin' okay? No headache? Don't think I didn't see you touchin' your forehead on the way over here."

"It's all gone, promise. Don't worry over me too much, okay? It's usually . . .I don't get those spells often, I think I was very nervous and I let things get too much."

Jake smiled gently, "Something you got to know about me Cassandra, I care a lot about my friends. So don't tell me not to worry, cuz I will anyway."

She smiled, here's just as gentle as his. "You're very sweet. And I could use another friend, except . . ."

 _Oh._ He cringed. "Wow, that sounded like I was uh what do the kids call it?"

Cassandra let out a giggle and he was a bit more relieved. "My friend Ezekiel calls it friendzoning. And you are far too young to say, 'the kids call it'."

"Thanks for that. But some days, I feel like I'm a 100 when I really am only 34. But I wasn't uh friendzoning you. I'd like to uh . . .well, right now you're . . .we have to take it slow, that's all I meant."

She nodded. "I get it now. You said as much earlier but I . . . gosh, now my insecurity is showing."

"It's okay, really. I'm terrible at this. I do like you Cassandra. Can't help it, I have since we met. And I'd like to keep seeing you if that's okay."

She smiled, one of those dazzling smiles of hers. "I like you too. And it's okay, I'd like to keep seeing you too."

"As much as I can around what I promised the kids I would do. Though you're welcome to come along sometimes if you know you want. I don't want you to be like . . .well my first girlfriend never even met them . . . ."

"I already met them. And I'm guessing the other one spent more time with them than you?"

Jake nodded, "Yeah. Not that it wasn't good for them to have a woman in their lives, but . . . ."

"Well, we'll see how it goes. I get that they have to come first. And who knows, maybe when they need you will coincide with my need for a dark room and silence and it'll all work out. That was a bad joke, I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't . . . .one day at a time okay? We'll see how it goes. Did you want to get out of here, or did you want dessert?"

"Well, actually there's a gelato place on the corner . . . ."

Jake's eyes lit up. "Oh, now that's a plan right there."

A little while later they were sitting on a bench outside the gelato store. Cassandra got lemon and Jake chocolate hazelnut. She was laughing at something he said and holding her cone so it wouldn't melt everywhere.

"You should you know eat that."

"Well, stop making me laugh!"

"You find me funnier than I was tryin' to be." Jake chuckled.

"I should probably get going pretty soon," Cassandra said with a sigh. They'd decided to meet downtown so that Jake could handle his kids better.

"Yeah," Jake sighed, "Lunch kinda is getting really close to dinner and I need to have something fixed for the kids."

"Aside from my spell, I had a really good time today, Jake. "

"Me too. Aside from that. When do you think we can do this again?"

"My day off is Thursday. I work til 5 on Mondays and Wednesdays and until 4 on Fridays during the summer. Also I have Sundays off during the summer and I work until 5 on the next two Saturdays. I work nights on Tuesday."

"The twins have swim lessons on Thursday at the Y with the neighbors' kids. I said I'd take them this week, but my neighbor will do it if I promise to bake her a pie."

"You bake?"

"Hell yeah, I do. You should try my pies, they are legendary!"

She giggled. "Well, how about you bake an extra one for us and we can go to the botanical gardens and have a picnic on Thursday? Unless it's a 100, then we'll, I don't know, find something else to do."

He grinned. "Deal."

They finished their gelato and then sat looking awkwardly at each other.

"I should probably . . ."Cassandra sighed.

"Yeah me too. I kinda wanna kiss you, but then I'm thinkin' maybe . . . ."

"Too early? Yeah." Cassandra reached across the bench and brushed a kiss across his cheek. "Maybe this for now."

He nodded ."Bye Cassandra. I promise to call. And we'll see you tomorrow for the afternoon story hour." He repeated the gesture she'd made, kissing her cheek.

He promised himself he wasn't going to kiss her. _This was going to be slow. Take it slow. Don't rush into this like before._ But she'd made a tiny little sound, like a blissful sigh when his lips touched her cheek. And suddenly he couldn't help himself. Before he could think further, his lips were over hers. Just a gentle kiss, just brushing of lips, he noticed she'd responded, keeping the kiss light and sweet. It didn't last long and she smiled at him when they parted.

"I'd say I was sorry for that, but I'm not. I don't think . . .I can go without kissin' you when we're alone."

"I think you're right," Her eyes were a little dazed and it sent a thrill down his spine. "I think you better go before we get back to kissing and forget where we are or what time it is."

"Yeah," he couldn't help it though, he brushed one last kiss over her lips then moved away from temptation. "Text me when you get home so I'm not worrying about you."

She nodded, knowing exactly why he'd worry. "You do the same, you hear?"

"I will, ma'am."

And he turned and left her with her delighted laughter ringing in his ears.


	10. Legendary Pie

Sitting on a blanket in a shady spot in the botanical gardens, Jacob chuckled at a story Cassandra was telling involving her co-workers Ezekiel and the slightly mysterious Mr. Jenkins. He thought he might actually like Jenkins whereas Ezekiel seemed like trouble all over. While she was telling the story, he was cleaning up the remains of their picnic. He'd offered to provide the food but she'd told him to just bake pie, she'd do the rest. She'd provided an assortment of sandwiches and potato salad that he was pretty sure was homemade. She'd had the sense to bring a cooler with little wheels so that they could move around much more freely.

She took a sip out of her water bottle and looked at him, "Okay, so now for the legendary pie?"

"It's strawberry, in a couple of weeks it'll be prime peach season so I'll be making a ton of . . . ."He traveled off blushing as he realized he might have been talking too much. Cassandra, on the other hand, just smiled at him.

"I love strawberries."

He fished the pie out of the cooler, he was used to sharing his pies, so he'd already pre-cut two generous slices and packed them into containers. He handed her one, along with a new plastic fork from the baggie he'd found in the cooler's side pocket. He had this feeling Cassandra was prepared for just about anything.

Cassandra, for her part, was prepared to say nice things about the pie no matter how it tasted. She was skeptical about the legendary pie status, but this man had been surprising her since they met. She still found it hard to reconcile the down- home son of an Oklahoma ranch persona he radiated with the art museum curator she knew him to be. And although she knew he was a genius, you'd not know it from his grammar. She had a feeling his way of speaking was a habit he just couldn't quite break and in the end, she did find it charming despite herself.

She carefully took her fork and broke into the pie. No one in her family baked, but she grew up going to some of the finest bakeries in New York City. So she knew pastry. The crust was that perfect mix of flaky and tender, that tough paradox of pie baking. She bit into it and she made a pleased moan. Unlike most strawberry pies, Jake hadn't used too much sugar to mask the sometimes sourness of the berries, but let their natural flavor shine. She looked up over the pie to find Jacob staring at her, his fork hovering over the pie, his eyes suddenly darker. She realized now the sound she'd made and if she'd had any question about his attraction to her, that was answered now. She smiled at him, a little sheepish and he blinked, the spell momentarily over.

Though his pupils were still a little dilated when he cleared his throat and asked if she liked the pie.

"I do. Wow, you weren't kidding about legendary. This is perfect. I can't wait to try the peach. I know the peaches around here are awesome, I bet your pies are even better."

He puffed up visibly, pleased by her praise. "My mama and grandmama taught me. The girls never were that interested in learnin'. But I love cookin'. It's art and despite my love of it, I was never really good at art other than cookin'. I couldn't paint or draw." He shook his head ruefully. "I love art, think of nothing but it some days and I can't create it myself. Except sometimes with food and even then, I'm feedin' six year olds most days and they just . . . well maybe when they're older they'll appreciate presentation."

Cassandra smiled softly before taking another bite. "Well, I wouldn't mind if you cooked for me sometime. I like to cook myself but it gets boring just cooking for one. I start to get lazy. I was so excited about this picnic."

"I thought that potato salad was homemade. The lemonade too?"

She grinned. "That's my art too. Cooking. I can do, you know, basic stuff, the stuff the kids do in crafts, but most of the time I'm just following someone else's tutorial. I can draw shapes and finger paint, but beyond that." She shrugged. "You said your wife was an artist?"

He nodded looking down at the blanket and Cassandra thought maybe she'd said something wrong. "She could paint and draw, it wasn't her first love, she had this talent but what she loved was books. "

Cassandra nodded, "Eve said she worked with Flynn, so she was a reference librarian?"

"Yeah. She loved that so much. But her hobby was art. She minored in it, that's how we met, in art school when I was still telling the boys that art history was a blow off major. She knew better but it wasn't until I got hurt and my football days were over that I really embraced it."

Cassandra was quiet for a long moment. "I think I would have liked your Mabel."

He was quiet for a long time too, playing with a blade of grass near where they sat. "I think she would have liked you too." He bit his lip. "Probably would have approved of you far more than the other two women I dated. I don't close my eyes and picture her staring at me with her hands on her hips right now."

"What is she doing instead?"

His smile was a little dreamy, "she's smilin'. She likes you."

Cassandra blinked away sudden tears, "Oh, Jacob."

"Hey, I didn't, oh God, did I say somethin' wrong?"

"No," she sniffled. "I'm just really touched. " She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I've . . .dated . . .a few people . . .and no one has ever said anything quite that sweet to me."

He set his pie on the blanket next to where she'd put hers and leaned over, wiping the last bit of her tears away with his thumb. He kissed her, soft and sweet, they both tasted like strawberries and a little bit of salt, he couldn't quite deny that one or two had leaked out of his own eyes.

He pulled away from the kiss and kept his right hand on her face, "You are so damn sweet, Cassandra Cillian."

She smiled at him, although her eyes were still a little watery and he leaned back in for one more soft kiss. "Okay, now finish that pie."

A little while later, they were laying side by side on the blanket, not quite touching, staring at the clouds.

"Perhaps I should have made those pieces smaller," Jake muttered. "Too full to move."

"You said you didn't have to go anywhere until dinner time right?" Cassandra giggled.

"Nope, the street set this up a while back, in the summer, we all take turns watching the kids one day a week so that someone can have a free day. Usually it's a tag team thing, like me and Jessica will have a Thursday and we'll each have the kids for a couple of hours, so we're not overwhelmed. Darlene is taking my turn in exchange for pie. So I don't have to worry about them until at least 5."

"I did want to see the natives garden. I don't know why but I love yucca plants. And that agave that looks like a whale's tongue."

"That's what, on the other side of the green? We can probably hobble over there in a bit."

A few moments passed and Cassandra started speaking softly, "my gift is in math and sciences. Up in the clouds I see the most amazing shapes. I bet you see famous works of art."

"I do. Though I have to admit, that cloud over there," he took her hand in his and pointed, "looks exactly like a sheep my uncle used to have."

Cassandra giggled. "It does look like a sheep."

They spent almost a half an hour laying on the blanket, hands entwined, making up the most absurd things they could in the clouds.

"The shade's starting to move and you're so fair. I'm afraid you're gonna get burned, so we probably should get a move on." Jacob sighed finally.

Cassandra nodded and moved to a seated position, or tried too as she gasped as a dizzy spell over came her.

"Cassie? Is it your head?"

"I think this time it's just," she laid down and the spell seemed to go away. "I sat up too fast that time."

She tried again, this time slowly and things were better. "I was laying down too long, that's all. Hey, don't worry okay?"

"I told ya before, Cassandra, you can't tell me not to worry. I will anyway."

"Yeah, I know."

He wouldn't let her move, instead cleaned up the remaining bits of their picnic packing the containers in the cooler and taking the trash to a nearby trash bin. Then he helped her up and folded up the blanket to put in the pocket of the cooler.

"Alright, let's go see those plants you're crazy about," he grinned at her and she gave up being slightly miffed that he wouldn't let her help clean up. She had a feeling that was a fight she was always going to lose and that she should just let him take care of her. But Cassandra had been taking care of herself for years and found it difficult. Even with a man so used to caring for others that it came as second nature.

They strolled down around the native plants and it turned out one of the agaves was blooming, probably for the only time in its life. Cassandra excitedly took photos from all angles. Then she chuckled over the whale's tongue one and proclaimed she'd really like a yucca some day.

"The kids and Eve like the roses and the Crape Myrtle, but my favorite spot is the Fern Dell," Jake said, taking her hand and leading her back around the natives garden and over the bridge. They sat in its shaded stillness, little fine mists of water spraying, suddenly feeling a million miles away from Dallas.

"I've been here before, but I've never just sat here." Cassandra said. "It's like it's another place entirely. So mysterious."

"I always think an alligator or something is gonna come up out of the creek, it's almost prehistoric."

"Some of the plants were around in the time of the dinosaurs," Cassandra said with a little shiver. "So it's not a far stretch. I suppose we should be heading back before the traffic gets too bad."

"Yeah," Jake sighed. Part of him wanted just to sit in this little piece of paradise with Cassandra for longer. But it was time to go. "So, when can I see you again?"

"You're gonna spoil me, wanting to see me so much," she chuckled.

"We've only been on two dates."

"Next one would be three," Cassandra raised an eyebrow at him.

He cleared his throat and shifted a bit. "I'd like to take things a bit slower with you, I kinda . . . well I'll tell you sometime about . . .anyway."

"I figured we were taking that slow," Cassandra said gently, "I wanted to make sure we were on the same page."

"So if I remember, you're workin' Saturday but you're free Sunday?"

"I am."

"My mother has been aching to take the kids for an evening, so maybe we could cook dinner together?"

"That sounds fun, are you sure about all of this? I don't want to take you away from your kids. I know you had plans to make this a great summer."

"You're not, so far everything has worked into something I'd already planned for them to do. And I'd like you to spend time with them too . . .I mean if you'd like. I know you like kids so . . . ."

"I do, I like kids. And I like your kids. I just want them to be first in your life. That's how it should be. I'm willing to take what I can get."

He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling with it. "You are so damn sweet." _And I could really fall for you._

"You said that before."

"I say what I mean. It'll be okay, Cassandra, really. They do come first, but I don't want you to think of yourself like you're far down the list. I know this is really early, but I will make time for you too. We'll figure it out."

"I know we will." She reached over and kissed his cheek. He smiled and grabbed her hand, he kissed the back of it, before taking her hand in his.

"Time to get goin'."


	11. Dinner at Cassandra's

"I should try more baking," Cassandra said removing a tray of corn muffins from her oven to make way for the barbecue chicken Jacob was basting with his homemade sauce. "It's really all science and math, I should be good at that."

"Well, now you ain't getting my secret recipe for pie," he shook the basting brush at her, then looked critically at the chicken. "You think that's enough?"

"You set some aside right? Then I think it'll be fine. I am worried about the muffins getting too cold."

"We'll pop them in your toaster oven later to warm them back up, you did turn up the oven right?"

"Yep, I'd give it a couple of minutes then it's all yours."

Jake went to wash his hands and then put the reserved sauce in the refrigerator. Cassandra smiled, this was the most domestic thing she'd done with a man in ages and this was going as if they'd been sharing a kitchen for years. Without missing a beat, he was handing her the vegetables she'd already pointed out were for the side salad.

He chuckled as he watched her work, "Science and math again, precise little dices. My knife skills are not bad, but I'm not quite that technical."

"It's how I see the world," Cassandra shrugged, barely slowly her pace.

"You got a salad bowl?" Jake asked after he'd slid the chicken in the oven.

"Yeah, I was going to ask you to get it. It's in the cupboard next to the fridge, top shelf."

She'd already bought a bag of pre-sliced lettuce so he dumped about half the bag into the bowl, ready for the vegetables she was chopping.

"And now we just have to kill 40 minutes," Jake said as Cassandra put the other vegetables in the bowl ready to be tossed later.

Cassandra opened the refrigerator and offered Jake a beer, then beers in hand, she led him into her living room.

She arranged herself on the sofa, tucking her feet under her. He sat next to her and tried to think of a topic.

"I like your apartment, it's cozy."

"Thank you."

"Next time you'll have to come to my place, preferably on a day when the maid service has come."

Cassandra chuckled, "I guess having a maid service is a big help."

He nodded. "We actually started with them when May went back to work. Two toddlers and both of us working. . . .they came twice a month. But I have them come once a week, sometimes twice. The twins have little chores and I'll add to them as they get older. It's probably too expensive but I like the peace of mind of knowing the house is clean. Plus my service uses only natural cleaners so I don't worry about the kids."

"A lot of things to think about when you got kids," Cassandra mused.

"Tell me about it," Jake sighed. "More than I ever even imagined. And there's still surprises." He looked over at her and noticed the expression on her face. "Cassie, am I talkin' too much about the kids? I'm sorry if I am."

She shook her head. "No, you're not. It's just . . . ." She bit her lip. "You wanted me to spend time with them."

"I do, but only when you're comfortable with it. Are you havin' second thoughts?"

"No, it's . . . .Do you think they'll want to spend time with me?"

Jake looked confused and if she wasn't so troubled, she'd find it adorable. "They're crazy about you. All I heard as summer was comin' was the library and Miss Cassie. The first morning I took them to story hour, they spent all of breakfast talkin' about nothing but you. How smart and pretty and nice you were."

"Yeah, but that's Miss Cassie at the library. They're coming to see me for an hour or so and then they go home and go about their lives. They like me as the librarian but are they going to like me as your . . . ." She shrugged not entirely sure if girlfriend was the appropriate word for this early in their relationship.

But Jake suddenly nodded, "ah, gotcha. I suppose you have a good point. I don't think it will be an issue. But you're right, kids can be . . . unpredictable." He sighed. "I'll have a talk with them about it before I make plans to have you spend time with them. And we'll see. I honestly don't expect them to be too upset though. They like you a lot."

"You said that the one girlfriend . . . ."

"Ah, yeah," Jake coughed. "You don't wanna hear this."

"Maybe, maybe not."

He cast his eyes down at the carpet. "It's kinda shameful."

"Really? You? I find that hard to believe."

He kept looking at the carpet. "Three years ago, Mabel'd only been dead a year, I went to a museum conference in DC. It was an important conference and I had to go, but the weekend overlapped her birthday."

Cassandra inhaled, she had a feeling she knew where this was going.

"So I was in the hotel bar drinkin' the memories away. I don't normally drink that much, I really don't. I had the kids to think of, which is what kept me far away from the bottle, no matter how much I really wanted to crawl into one. But that night I was all alone and . . .Kerry came into the bar. I was drunk, she was willin'. I went back to her room and . . . . I should have left it with that weekend, but I found out she lived in Dallas."

"And you're a gentleman and you didn't want things to be just a one night stand."

He nodded, sighing. "And I was so damn lonely. So lonely. But all it was was sex. I couldn't bring myself to let the woman I was usin' meet my sweet little babies. No matter how much she asked. It didn't last very long, maybe six weeks. She knew what it was and had the sense to tell me to leave."

"Jake . . . ."

"Now you're probably disgusted with me."

"I'm not. We've all been there. Trust me. I had a thing like that too. It's not the same, I didn't . . .my lover didn't die, but he broke our engagement the night before our wedding. Two weeks later, I pretty much did the same thing you did with a guy I met in a bar. I didn't pursue a relationship with him afterwards. But still, it happens . . . . We're human. And you both realized it wasn't what you deserved, either of you."

"Damn . . ."he breathed. "Oh Cassie."

"It wasn't the same," she shook her head.

"Did you love the man you nearly married?"

"Yes."

"Did your heart break into a thousand little pieces?"

"Yes," came in a whisper.

"Did you have any clue that he was gonna leave you?"

"No, not a single one. He just told me he couldn't . . . ."And then Cassandra started to cry.

Jake curled himself around her, not even fighting back his own tears. "It's okay, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed. It's just that it is the same. Just because he didn't die, it doesn't negate your heartbreak. I had grief too, but my heart, my heart didn't know the difference. I knew she didn't mean to leave me, but it didn't care."

"I never thought about it like that."

"No one does. No one should. I didn't, I didn't think I'd be alone when I was 30 with two little ones and a world of heartbreak. But it happens all too often. I've had divorced women tell me, oh but my heartbreak isn't the same as yours. But it is, their partner left. Just mine didn't do it by choice."

"You are so damn sweet, Jacob Stone. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For the hug, for making me feel better. For being you. I'm sorry I asked about Kerry. I kinda figure I know the story with what was her name?"

"Hope. Yeah, she wanted to be a mama. And that's wonderful but she didn't love me and I didn't love her. And in the end . . . my children don't need a mother so badly that I can cheat myself or someone else out of having love in their lives. Their mama and I loved each other. If I ever get married again . . . ." He looked over at her in his arms and said softly, "it'll be to someone I love and who loves me too. I want that house full of love back. I didn't mind the idea of more babies, but I wanted the love to be not just between her and the babies. Does that make sense?"

"It does." Cassandra blushed. "I always dreamed of a house like that. I thought I'd found that once but . . .well, I was wrong. But I've never lost that hope. Some day."

Jake kissed the top of her head, but anything he might have said was cut off by the timer on the oven going off. He released her slowly and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm gonna go check on that."

"I'm going to go um, freshen up."

They were both a little quiet when she returned and they finished making dinner. Cassandra had set the salad bowl on her table and turned to him with a little sigh.

"I didn't ruin things, did I?"

He shook his head and took her hands in his. "I think with us, it's best that we keep on being honest with each other. I don't . . .I don't want to play games here. I can't even begin to explain how clueless I am about this whole dating thing. But I've had two failed attempts and it was because we kept lying to each other or mostly ourselves about what was going on. I like you, Cassandra." He released one of her hands to touch the side of her face. "And I . . .can see maybe it becoming more than that. As painful and uncomfortable as some of these conversations are, we need to have them." He thought about kissing her, but instead just caressed her cheek once and pulled his hand away.

She surprised him by tugging the hand he still held forward and then wrapping her arms around him. He released a shaky sigh and returned the gesture. They stood like that wrapped in each other's arms for a few heartbeats, then she released him.

"You're right. I've played my own share of games and I don't want to get hurt again. No guarantees here, but maybe if we're honest with each other, we can work things out before they become problems."

"Exactly," he hadn't stepped away too far from her, so he leaned in and kissed her. "That's enough serious for tonight, I think. How about we eat?"

Things were a smidge awkward for a bit, then Jake said, "So while you were gone, an orange tabby bounced into the kitchen. Took one look at me and lit out like it's tail was on fire."

Cassandra giggled. "Oh that's Sparky. He hid under the bed when you rang the bell. He's a little shy at first but a few more visits and he'll be sitting on your lap demanding to be petted."

Jake chuckled. "The kids have been after me for a pet. I haven't wanted to add that to my list of things to take care of. Because they say they will but . . . ."

Cassandra shook her head. "That's not what happens. Well, maybe they can come over here and play with Sparky sometime. He likes the neighbor's little girl, I baby sit her sometimes. And other times she just comes over to play with him."

He grinned at her, deciding not to bring up that she sounded more comfortable with the idea of spending time with Matt and Maggie. He really didn't think she had anything to worry about but as he got to know her, he realized that for Cassandra, as much as she tried, disappointment always lurked around the corner for her. He knew he had a bit of the white knight about him, he'd always been one to take care of others, from the wounded birds his sisters would find in the backyard, to his sisters, to Mabel, who'd had her own issues with insecurity. Now he wanted badly to take care of Cassandra, although he'd gotten the impression that the woman had no idea how to handle someone else caring for her. The best he could do was try not to add to her own heartaches.

They finished dinner, keeping their agreement to table the serious stuff for the night. Jake insisted on cleaning up too, so they got the dishes loaded in the dishwasher and the counters wiped off.

"When you do have to go?" Cassandra asked.

"Mama has the kids until morning."

"Oh?"

Jake realized how that sounded. "Uh, we did discuss . . . . I just . . .just meant I didn't have to uh leave any time soon."

She shook her head at him, "I was teasing you, silly. I know we discussed it and we're not ready yet for you to um spend the night. But I wouldn't mind if you stayed for a while. Would you like to watch a movie?"

Sometime later, the credits were rolling and Jake stretched the arm that wasn't around Cassandra. He was glad they'd picked a movie he'd actually seen because around the middle of the movie, she'd kissed him. And while they'd kept things on the sweet side, the kisses had been deeper than any of the ones they'd exchanged previously. Then she'd snuggled into his side and he'd been more interested in the smell of her hair and the softness of her dress under his fingertips then paying attention to the screen.

He sighed though and she turned to look up at him with a questioning expression. He kept his voice soft and gentle, "If I don't get going, I won't leave. You're so comfy darlin' I think we'll both fall asleep out here if I don't move soon."

She bit her lip but then said, "Yeah, you're probably right. This just feels . . . ."

"I know. It feels . . .good. You don't even know how much I missed . . .well, anyway. Someday, sweetheart, we'll sleep in each other's arms. But not tonight."

She nodded and tilted her head to kiss him good night. Just sweet and gentle and then she moved out of his arms. "Be careful going home, okay?"

"I'll text you. Good night Cassandra."

"Night, Jake."

She got off the couch and held a hand out to help him out. He kissed her again at the front door. "Hey and I'll have that talk with the kids, okay?"

"Thank you. Go on before I tell you to just sleep on the sofa."

He laughed. "I'm going."

When the door closed behind him, Cassandra stood with her back to the door for a second smiling dreamily.

"Okay Sparky, you can come out now, you silly cat."


	12. Stone's Princess

Tuesday night, Jake decided to have a talk with the twins about Cassandra. The kids were in their pjs and he asked them to meet him in Maggie's room before they went to do their before bed reading.

When he read them a story, they usually gathered in Maggie's room because her bed was against the wall, so it was much more comfortable for the three of them to sit. Tonight, he sat in the middle, Matt and Maggie on either side.

"Are we getting a story?" Matt asked.

"No, I wanted to talk to you guys about something." Jake curled an arm around each child. "You remember Miss Cassie from the library?"

Both of them nodded.

"She's really nice. We saw her yesterday for the story and Friday there's The Muppet Movie," said Matt. "And the dinosaurs next week!"

"Did something happen to Miss Cassie?" Maggie asked, her voice suddenly concerned as she wondered why her father was bringing her up. "Is there a new lady at the library? Like when teacher left?"

"No, nothing like that." Jake cleared his throat, this was harder than he thought. They'd been so much younger when he dated Hope. "Cassie, that is Cassandra, and I are friends. And we're probably gonna be spending a lot more time together."

"Is she your girlfriend?" Matt asked, half scrunching up his nose. Girls at this point were mysterious creatures, sometimes fine, sometimes intriguing, sometimes gross, depending on the day.

Maggie looked over at him, something he couldn't quite interpret floating across her features. That was rare, because he usually could read his daughter well, she was such a perfect mix of himself and her mother.

Keeping his eyes on his daughter, he decided that simple was best. He and Cassandra hadn't really defined their relationship, but the children were too young to understand that. And besides, she pretty much was his girlfriend, he had no desire to see anyone else at the moment. "Yes, she's my girlfriend. She would like to spend some time with you . . . ."

"Like Miss Hope?" Matt asked.

Jake was a little surprised, he didn't think they remembered her. "Yes, though I think she'll be spending a little less time with you than she did. Cassandra wanted it all to be okay with you two before she spent any time with us as a family."

Matt shrugged. "It's fine with me, I like Miss Cassie. Can I go read?"

Jake chuckled, kissing the top of his head. "Yeah, you can go read."

Maggie was still quiet as her twin jumped down off the bed and went into his room.

"So Princess, you gonna tell me what's on your mind?"

"I like Miss Cassie . . . ." Maggie said slowly.

"I know. But? If you have any problems at all, please tell me, it's okay."

"I do like her," Maggie frowned as if she was trying to put her feelings into words. "She's really pretty. And smart and nice. And she has a pretty laugh. And you smiled when you said she was your girlfriend. Like the crinkly eyed one, the one you get when you talk about Mama."

"Is this about Mama?"

"A little? I don't really . . .I don't really remember Mama." She looked sad.

"I know," Jake squeezed her a little tighter. "I wish you did. But you and your brother were so little when she had to go to Heaven."

"I remember her singing to us at night and sometimes when we're at story time, Miss Cassie sounds a little like her."

"She does," Jake nodded his head, he'd noticed the same thing. It wasn't quite the same, but it was enough to give him pause.

"And it makes me happy when she sings. Like Mama's singing to us from Heaven. She's like . . .I wouldn't mind if she could be . . . ."

"Ohh, sweetheart, she ain't gonna replace your mama. Your mama's always gonna have a place in my heart, in yours too. Cassandra knows that. Her daddy went to heaven when she was a few years older than you, still a little girl in a lot of ways. So she understands."

"Is that why she's sometimes sad? She looks at the little boys and girls like she's missing something."

"Oh wow, you are way smart," Jake chuckled and kissed her head. "No, I think she's sad because she lost the man she loved, like I lost Mama. He didn't go to heaven but he went far away from her."

"Ohh, she's like a princess in a fairytale then, looking out the window and wishing she was like the people in the village."

"Yes, you could say that."

Maggie turned that over in her head for a while then looked up at her father, her voice serious. "Can you be the prince that rescues her? You're both so sad and maybe . . . ."

Jake blinked startled, then blinked tears out of his eyes. "Oh baby girl." He ruffled up her curls and kissed her forehead. "I don't know. I think I'd like to try. But it might take a while, do you understand? Life isn't quite as easy as the storybooks."

She nodded. "And she won't take Mama's place?"

"No, no one can. Cassandra wouldn't want to take anyone's place but her own. But it's up to you, if you're not okay with me seeing her, then . . . ." And Jake suddenly swallowed over a lump in his throat. For a minute it seemed like Maggie wanted him to pursue Cassandra but he wasn't sure now. Nor was he quite anticipating the pain that the thought of never looking into Cassandra's eyes or kissing her soft lips again was causing him.

"I'm okay with it, Daddy. She's your princess, you need to save her."

"Thank you, Maggie," he kissed her cheek and then went to leave her to her book.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you read me a story tonight?"

"Of course, I can."

* * *

After the kids were tucked in, he looked at his phone, it was 8pm and he was sure that Cassandra said she worked until 9. Still he sent her a text:

 _Know you're working. Could u call when you get home? Need to talk._

A moment later a text came back:

 _Actually am home. Had a headache. Almost gone, I'll call you in about 30 minutes, okay?_

He replied an affirmative and went downstairs. In the kitchen, he reached up to the high cupboard and removed a rocks glass and the key that was taped to the inside of the cabinet. It unlocked the liquor cabinet that was in the living room. He didn't indulge often, as he'd explained to Cassandra, the thought of the kids had kept him from having more than the occasional beer or glass of wine. May had been the wine drinker, although he usually had it with steak or sometimes pasta, she'd developed the taste for it in him. And he cooked with it when he was cooking for adults. But tonight he felt the need for whiskey. He opened the cabinet, poured two fingers worth into the glass and locked the cabinet up again, pocketing the key.

He sat on the couch, sipping slowly, lost in his thoughts until his phone buzzed. He looked, noticing it was actually 45 minutes after her text.

"Hi, are you feelin' alright?"

"Hi yourself. Yeah, it's all gone now. Sorry it took longer than I thought though. What's the matter?"

He took a long sip out of the glass, letting the burn go down his throat before he answered. "I talked to the twins today about you."

"Oh." Cassandra's voice sounded so sad and he felt the need to reach out and hold her.

"It's . . .no it's okay. They're okay with me seeing you. I did have to tell them you were my girlfriend, it was far easier to explain to 6 year olds."

Cassandra's voice was relieved, "that's okay. I know kids are better with simple concepts when it comes to adult relationships. Besides, I kinda already . . . ."

"Yeah, I do too. I don't want to see anyone else and I think I'd be a more than a little jealous if you did."

"I feel the same way about you. So that's settled then. Is that why you called? That was actually the easiest first step in commitment that I've ever had."

Jake laughed, happy to have at least one pressing detail out of his mind. "No, I just . . .well Matt was fine with it all. Girls are . . . sometimes they're gross, sometimes they're mysterious, sometimes he doesn't get the big deal. So it was all, whatever, can I read with him."

"Ah, but it wasn't with Maggie."

"No," Jake sighed. "First she was worried about what role you were going to play."

"You told her I don't want to replace her mother, right? I respect . . .I know exactly . . .Argh, you know."

"I do, sweetheart. I told her that you'd lost your father, so you understood how she'd feel. And that you just wanted to be you. Whatever role you play in her life, we'll figure that out as it happens. I think Hope might have been too aggressive toward playing their mother, they were littler, didn't think about these things then. But Maggie does now."

"Good, that's good. I don't . . .well I mean I want to be someone's mother someday."

Jake could almost hear Cassandra's cringe as if he saw it on her face.

"Stop it. Honesty, remember? We're being honest with each other. I know you want to be a mother. I'm more observant than people give me credit for. I see how you look at the children at the library, I heard how you answered me when I asked you if you had any, I listened to what you didn't say when you were telling me about your fiancé. I got the message. It's early for us, but just know that more kids have never been off the table for me. I also know that you're not Hope. She wanted a baby no matter what. You want a baby with a man that loves you like you love him."

Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "How do you _do_ that?"

"I **get** you."

"That you do."

"I called you because of what else Maggie said. I'd told her about your dad and she asked if that's why you're so sad sometimes."

"Wow, that . . .wow . . .she's . . . too much like you."

"I know, I think she's going to be the one that causes me trouble."

"But that's not why . . . ."

"No, I know. I told her I thought it was because the man that you loved went away." Cassandra made a noise that sounded like yes, though he was afraid she was crying again. "And you know what she said?"

"What?"

"That you were a princess in a tower and then she asked me if I'd be the prince to rescue you. Because she said that we were both so sad, but you made me smile."

"That is so cute. What did you tell her?"

"That'd I'd like to be. But I told her that real life is different and it takes a longer time to get there. She did have me going for a minute there. She kept changing her tone of voice, for a scary second I thought she was going to tell me not to see you."

"They come first," Cassandra said.

"They do and if they asked me too, I'd . . . .but letting you know I didn't think it would hurt as much as it did for that one moment of thinkin' I was gonna have to let you go."

"Jake . . . ."

"But it's okay, she said that you were my Princess so I had to be with you."

That caused a tearful giggle from Cassandra. "This is all a relief."

"Yeah to me too. Tonight's been strange. Been thinkin' about May. Been wantin' to kiss you. Not quite sure what's goin' on in my brain really. Think this might be what finally movin' on feels like. I thought it would be kinda gradual or sudden like I'd wake up one day and be ready. But it's not, it's like muddled and weird . . . . Makes me realize though I wasn't ready until you."

"I do understand," she sighed. "My . . . his name was David. He's the reason I came to Texas. It's been well, four years."

"Huh, that's interesting timing."

"Yeah, no kidding. He left me and when I stopped crying, stopped drinking and woke up with a stranger, I knew I had to do something. So I took a transfer to Dallas. And realized I need to change more than my locale. I've dated since then, broke up with someone a couple of months ago. But none of them . . . . I wasn't ready either. I used to blame them for it, but it was me, I was still holding on to what I couldn't have. Until the day we met. So I guess this is what finally moving on feels like too."

"One day at a time, darlin'. I should let you go, all of this couldn't be good for your head."

"No, I think I'm going to have to go to bed, it's coming back. I did need to talk to you about Thursday. I realized I have a dentist appointment when you're usually free."

Jake sighed. "And I was going to tell you I couldn't find anyone to take my shift. And this weekend's Father's Day so the kids and I are off to Oklahoma on Friday evening. I got last minute errands so Eve's takin' them to your movie. We won't be back until Monday. I'd ask you to come but . . . ."

"No, Jake, it's too soon. Besides I have to work and . . .well, Father's Day."

Jake softly said, "right, of course. I just wanted to see you before we were gone, especially after tonight, you know?"

"Maybe dinner, it's just a cleaning, so I'll be fine. Could you find a sitter? Or we all . . . ."

"I'm sure I can find someone, we might only be able to have a couple of hours, but I wanna see you alone, just for a little while."

"Well, let me know and we'll figure it out."

"I will as soon as I know, ma'am."

Cassandra giggled in spite of herself, "You gonna keep calling me that?"

"If you keep laughing like that every time I do, then yes. Good night Cassandra, feel better."

"Good night, Jake."

Jake finished the last of his drink and stared at the glass for a moment. Shook his head and then walked into the kitchen to put the key back in its hiding spot.

"See May? I'm being good. You'd like her, I know you do because I can hear you sometimes in things she says. It's almost a good thing she's not from Oklahoma too or I'd be lookin' for a ghost. I think I could love her. Not like I loved you, that's always gonna be me and you. But I think we could have our own thing and it could be good. I don't wanna break her heart like everyone else has."

He sighed and went upstairs, he had a book he wanted to read. But that night, in his dreams, May kissed him and then nodded toward a tower, where Cassandra waited by the window . . . .


	13. Cards and Cakes

Friday afternoon and the kids were clearing out after watching the original Muppet Movie down in the story hour pit. Not too many kids had shown up, Cassandra reflected with a sigh, but the ones who did had been enchanted by the story.

Matt and Maggie were still in the library, their father was picking them up in about an hour to get started on their trip to Oklahoma.

Eve had stopped by Cassandra's desk. "I know this isn't your job at all," she looked back at her charges. "But I have a quick errand to run across the street. Could you keep an eye on them? I shouldn't be more than 15 minutes and if I am, you can put them in with Flynn. Or if you get busy."

Cassandra looked over at the twosome sitting at a nearby table. "It's really quiet right now and . . . ."

"Oh, I know, I got told you were Daddy's girlfriend," Eve winked. "And we will definitely have to have lunch and discuss how that happened. If I can't get it out of my baby brother on Sunday that is."

Cassandra blushed. "Yeah, Jake just told them about us and they're a little excited. We've only been together for 3 weeks, but it was easier to tell the kids that I was his girlfriend. And we do want to see each other exclusively, so I guess that's that. Anyway . . .I'll keep an eye on them, I don't think I'll get anyone needing my help in the next few minutes and if I need to, I'll grab Flynn."

"Thanks so much." And then Eve was gone. Cassandra looked around, there were no other children in the section. Matt and Maggie had construction paper and crayons in front of them. Cassandra smiled and got up and took a seat next to them.

"Hey Miss Cassie," Matt said, looking up from the folded piece of paper he was drawing on. Cassandra noticed that the horse he was working on was rather good.

"Hey guys, your aunt asked me to come keep an eye on you for a few minutes. What are you making?"

"Father's Day cards," Maggie said. "Matt's making one for Granddad and I'm making one for Daddy." The little girl frowned suddenly and looked over at Cassandra. "Daddy said your daddy went to heaven like our mama did."

Cassandra nodded gently. "When I was in middle school, yes."

"Do you make him cards?" Matt asked suddenly. "We make cards for Mama on Mother's Day."

"No, but I used to write him letters all about what I was up to. And I would take them to um him."

"We do that too," and Maggie, a bit of her father in her, suddenly reached out and patted Cassandra's arm. "Daddy says Mama's not really there, but it's one of the places she sees us. Do you talk to your daddy? We talk to our mama, Daddy does too."

Cassandra nodded, she had a feeling after the date in the garden when she'd felt like she'd been introduced to their mother. But she'd actually felt a wave of approval instead of fear, which was one of the reasons she'd cried that day. "Not as often as I should, but on Father's Day, I sit down and catch him up on what happened in my life."

"Daddy said that's why you couldn't come with us to Granddad's." Matt said.

"He also said she had to work," Maggie stuck her tongue out at her brother. "You don't listen."

"Both things are right. What are you guys going to do at your Granddad's?"

The twins excitedly launched into stories of horses and helping Granddad with chores. With singing in the kitchen with Granny and watching her and their father make pies. Of picnics under the live oak in the backyard and going down to the swimming hole where their father and aunts had gone when they were children.

Jake actually got done with his errands earlier than he expected and walked into the library to find his girlfriend deep in conversation with his children. His girlfriend . . . . The concept was still new to him but as she laughed with Maggie over something Matt had said, his heart did the strangest little flip. He knew he was falling in love with her and today he could feel himself sliding just a little bit more under her spell.

His sister chuckled next to him, having seen him as she came back inside.

"They like her," Eve said. "And it goes without sayin' that you do too."

"More than like I'm startin' to think," Jake muttered. "Surprised you didn't meddle."

"Didn't have to, you two found each other all on your own. I am happy for you."

He smirked at her and walked forward. "Now don't that make a pretty picture."

Cassandra smiled up at him, as did Matt. Maggie made a little noise and flipped her paper over. "You can't see it until Sunday, Daddy!"

"That's right," Cassandra said, her serious face on. "Top secret stuff here."

"Well, if you can lend me Miss Cassie for a few minutes, I'll let you finish up."

Cassandra took another look around, Fridays were so quiet when there was no program. "I can take a couple of minutes."

Eve settled in with the twins. "And I'll help them finish, I might need to make our Daddy a card myself," she winked at Jake and he rolled his eyes at her.

Jake and Cassandra went outside, finding a shady spot under a tree in the little park behind the library.

"Your family's ranch does sound nice."

Jake grinned, "they make it sound like an adventure. It wasn't always growin' up. And there was a time I thought I'd spend my whole life workin' that land. . .but now that I have kids of my own, I can see why it meant so much to my dad. Daddy means to leave it to me, but I don't know if I'll ever work it. But I couldn't sell it either, it's their birthright, been in our family for generations."

"Generations of my family lived in New York City, believe me, it's not wide open spaces but parts of it are in my blood too. I love it here, but there's a part of me that longs for home. It's different but the same, I guess. It's your roots, no matter how much distance you want to put between you and them."

"Would you be willing to come out to the ranch sometime? Not now, I know you want to spend some time thinking about your dad . . .but someday? " His blue eyes were earnest and carried quite a bit of emotion behind them. She knew what he was asking, he wanted her to be in his life and that meant taking her home. Not just the one he once had shared with Mabel (which she'd not yet been in) but the one where he'd grown up. It was so early and she'd been hurt so much, but she was falling in love with this man and she was pretty sure they couldn't stop it now.

She nodded. "Some weekend later this summer, yes, I'll come."

"Thank you," he leaned over and gave her a soft peck on the lips. "It's weird, I'm gonna miss you this weekend. It's like Thursdays and Sundays are our days and it just don't feel right not seein' ya. And it's only been a few weeks."

"Three. And we already made a commitment. Does it feel like we're moving too fast?"

"Sometimes," Jake nodded. "But it feels right and I can't help how I feel."

"Me neither," Cassandra shrugged. "We made a promise to just take it one day at a time. So let's just do that. I'm gonna miss you too."

"Well, I should go get the kids so we can get going. I'll text you when we get to my folks and when I'm back on Monday."

"Have a good time and be safe, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Cassandra laughed as she always did when he called her that and he grinned. He took a look around the park and seeing no one around, kissed her a proper goodbye.

* * *

That Thursday marked Cassandra's first trip to the Stones' house. Matt and Maggie were at a birthday party, so Jake invited her for lunch. She'd been a little nervous about visiting, but like that day at the garden, all she'd felt was approval. May's presence was in the house, but it was friendly and open. Cassandra wasn't sure what she believed when it came to the supernatural but in this case, it definitely felt like Mabel was happy with Jake's choice.

There weren't a lot of family photographs around, the few on display seemed newer. There was a wedding photo on the mantle and Cassandra took a moment to study it. She hadn't realized just how young Jake and Mabel must have been when they married, they looked barely out of college. So young, so terribly in love and her heart broke this time not for Jake but for that young woman who would never get the chance to grow old with the man she loved. There was a lot of artwork, which Cassandra expected, it being the home of two art lovers. She had a feeling some of the paintings were May's own work.

"I expected more photos," Cassandra said as Jake came into the living room, offering her a glass of iced tea.

"May was really into scrapbooks," Jake said pointing at the bookshelf behind him.

Cassandra chuckled when she noticed how full they were.

"I never got the knack, my sister Mary has done a few for us, but I mostly just print the photos and stick them into albums the old fashioned way. There are actually a lot of photos, I just prefer to take a book out and look at them. Long overdue look at some of them, actually." He glanced wistfully at the older ones at the top of the shelf, thinking of a conversation not long ago with Maggie.

"That's nice," Cassandra said a trifle absently. "So many people these days take photos and then never even print them out."

"Are you okay?" Jake asked suddenly. "This isn't too overwhelming for you?"

"I thought it would be, but I'm okay, I really am. I feel . . .welcome here. Your wife is very . . .understanding I guess. Or she likes me. You probably think I'm weird, but I feel her in the house and like that day in the gardens, she smiles at me."

"I talk to her all of time," Jake shrugged. "And we had a talk not more than a week ago about you. I had a dream where she . . ."He looked over at her but she looked encouraging. It was so nice to be with someone who didn't think he was nuts about this. "Where she basically told me to go to you. I think it was too much of Maggie's whole princess thing because there was a whole lot of fairytale imagery going on . . . ."

She smiled at him, "I haven't quite won over your children yet, but at least their mother approves."

"I thought you had with the kids?"

"I'm getting there. I know there's still a little bit of . . .it's hard to explain. It's very new and they're being on their best behavior. They do like me, which is why. "

Jake nodded, grimacing. "You're right. When they're havin' bad days . . .well, if you're gonna be in my life and I sure hope you are, you're gonna get temper tantrums and misbehavin'."

"And that'll be when I actually win them over, how I handle it." Cassandra sighed, changing the subject. "So what's for lunch? Is it legendary?"

* * *

Saturday was Jake's birthday. Jake had laughingly told her on Thursday that the twins were planning him a party, which was supposed to be a surprise but they were way too obvious about it, so he was making up an errand for Saturday afternoon and planning on acting surprised when he got home. Cassandra had actually known about it as the twins had invited her after the dinosaur program on Tuesday and then remembered that Jake hadn't been that far away when they had.

So she was expecting the party, what she wasn't expecting was the phone call at 9am on Saturday morning.

"Eve?" she asked. "Is everything alright? Flynn? Jake? The children?"

"Hi Cassandra. We're fine, I just, I need your help."

"Okay?"

"You know it's Jake's birthday. And usually I buy him a cake. But this year the twins want to bake him a cake. And honestly, bakin' was always Jake's thing. He was the one who was in the kitchen listening to Mama, I never cared. So I just . . .do you know how to bake? Otherwise, I'm thinking of just buying a cake mix. I know it won't matter to Jake what it tastes like . . . ."

Cassandra paused. She didn't do a whole lot of baking, but it was just science and math. And she did have a yellow cake recipe that her aunt had given her. She'd made it a few times, so she knew she could. "I do have a recipe, it's for yellow cake, will that matter?"

"The twins like yellow cake, so it should be fine."

"I don't know how to make frosting though, we may have to just buy some. Tell you what, are you at Jake's?"

"No, not yet, we're sending him out of the house in an hour or so, he knows what's going on, of course."

"Yeah, he told me. Is my place out of your way? You could pick me up and we could go to the store and get what we need for the cake and then we'll go to Jake's."

"Thank you so much, Cassandra."

Cassandra chuckled to herself and went to her computer to print off a copy of the recipe. She then went into her pantry to see if what she had on hand already. She had sugar and vanilla, but her flour supply was low. And it would be easier just to get eggs and milk at the store then worry about them sitting in Eve's car while they shopped. She put the sugar, vanilla, a can of cooking spray, a roll of parchment paper and two cake pans in a reusable shopping bag. She wasn't sure if Jake made cake, so it was better to bring the pans instead of having to come back.

An hour and a half later, Jake's kitchen and children were covered in more flour than Cassandra had anticipated. But on the plus side, the cakes had come out perfectly and were now cooling on a wire rack. The twins wanted to frost them, but Cassandra kept telling them the cakes had to cool first otherwise they'd fall apart.

"How did flour end up in some of these places?" Eve asked as she was sweeping the flour.

"They got excited and turned on the mixer too soon," Cassandra sighed. "There was a cloud. Plus Matt decided he was going to open the flour bag before I got over there with the scissors."

"Oh," Eve cringed.

"Yeah, luckily I had more than I needed, because most of the bag ended up on the counter and on Matt."

Eve just shook her head and laughed. Cassandra chuckled, it was funny in retrospect, though at that moment in time she'd had to count to ten. The last thing she needed was a meltdown, hers or theirs. She and Jake both had hopes for a future together, but she knew that in order for them to have that, she had to create her own role, not just in his life, but in his children's. And today was not the day to snap at them for simply being excited children who wanted to do something nice for their father.

"Miss Cassie!" came a plaintive cry from Maggie. Both Eve and Cassandra turned their heads to look. While they'd been distracted cleaning up, Maggie had decided to start icing the cake. And of course, because it wasn't cool enough, it started to tear.

"Maggie, we told you it had to cool," Eve scolded.

Maggie's eyes filled with tears, "I just wanted to help . . .make Daddy this cake . . .I didn't . . .Matty did everythin'."

"Oh sweetheart," Cassandra put an arm around her and squeezed. Matt had indeed done most of the work (and made most of the mess) and Cassandra had thought at the time that it just wasn't Maggie's thing. Now she realized that maybe she'd let Matt edge his sister out. "We can fix this, do you think there's any jam in the refrigerator?"

Maggie nodded, "Daddy just put a new jar of raspberry in last night."

"Okay, go get it for me. This will be the bottom layer and we'll fill the top with raspberry and hopefully it'll cover up the tear."

Cassandra carefully scooped the frosting Maggie had already put on the top back into can. Luckily she hadn't touched the sides yet. She grabbed a big spoon from the drawer and when Maggie handed her the jar of jam, she carefully scooped a large spoonful out and on to the cake.

"Now the trick with frosting . . .and I only know this because I watched those shows on the Food Network is that you have to put the whole can on at once. Which is why it tore. I know it makes more sense to put a little on at a time like you're painting, but that's not how frosting works."

"Huh," said Eve behind her. The twins stood on either side of her on the counter, watching her with big eyes.

She spread the jam around so it was an even layer and then eying it critically added another big spoonful of jam. Matt clapped his hands at the addition.

Cassandra laughed, "remind me to buy your daddy a new jar of jam. I think I'm going to use most of this."

Then she set the second layer of cake on top. She felt the top of the cake and looked over at the clock.

"I think we're going to have to frost it now, I know Maggie you wanted to help, but I think I better do it."

Maggie looked a little crestfallen although Cassandra could tell she understood. Then Cassandra had an idea.

"How about I frost and then you can decorate it? We bought some jimmies," at Maggie's glance Cassandra titled her head, "right we call them that where I'm from. Sprinkles. How about that?"

Maggie eagerly nodded her head and Cassandra breathed a sigh of relief. The cake was still a little too warm and Cassandra ended up adding a little more frosting then she'd liked just to patch the spots where it tore. And Maggie's creative use of sprinkles and the decorating icing that Eve had bought covered up much of the flaws.

"It looks like sprinkles exploded," Eve whispered laughing to Cassandra.

"What happened in here?" came Flynn's voice. "Oh my. Darling, you all are running late, your parents are here and so are the other guests and I just saw Jake pull in the drive . . . ."

"What happened?" came Jake's voice as he poked his head into his kitchen. The surprise ruined by the fact that Eve, Cassandra and the kids had been in the kitchen and Flynn had just let the guests in who were out front of his house.

"Daddy! You ruined the surprise!" exclaimed Matt.

"It doesn't matter," he started laughing, "It's alright. But . . ." He looked from one flour covered twin to the other, who now had sprinkles in her hair. Cassandra had a smudge of flour on her nose and frosting on the backs of her hands.

"They wanted to make you a cake from scratch," Cassandra said with a smile. "And it took us longer than we expected. Happy birthday!"

Jake chuckled and carefully kissed both of his children before handing them off to Eve, who promised to get them cleaned up quickly. He thanked both of them.

He turned to Cassandra who was smiling sheepishly. "I know, I know, the mess. No one warned me about cooking with six year olds. Matt got into the flour and then I ended up using most of your jam to fix the cake after Maggie tried frosting it. And then there are the sprinkles . . . . But the cake should taste good, umm I hope. Eve wanted to buy one, but . . . ."

"Oh Cassie, it's okay, it's perfect, it's . . . " For a moment he had a flashback to the last birthday he had a homemade cake, when a different woman with two toddlers clinging to her legs smiled sheepishly at him over the mess. "Thank you so much, you don't know how much it means to me."

He leaned over to kiss her but she held up a hand. "I'm a mess."

"I don't care," and he kissed her anyway.


	14. Birthday and Breakfast

The party went very well, and Jacob's mother, who seemed to really take to Cassandra, had insisted on taking the twins for the night.

The fact that she'd done so with a wink caused her only son to groan but he'd said nothing until after the guests had all finally gone. Eve and Flynn had shooed Cassandra out of the kitchen and it was more spotless now then it was when she got there this morning. He found her in there, searching his fridge.

"What are you looking for?"

"Looking for something with caffeine in it," she laughed, "My goodness that was exhausting and that was a birthday party for an adult! I remember there was some Coke in here before the party started."

"I think I have a bottle of Coke in the beer fridge in the den. I try not to let the kids have too much of that stuff, but sometimes I need it. So I lock it up with the beer. Which I feel like havin' right now so c'mon, I'll get you one."

They were settled on the leather sofa in the den, Cassandra with a Coke, Jake with a beer. Her legs were draped over his lap.

"Aside from the exhaustion factor, I think it went really well. Your mom seemed to really like me. And your dad did too, though he's quiet. It's too bad your other sister couldn't make it."

"Mary's got four kids and it's hard for her to get away with all the stuff they're into in the summers. I do miss seeing her though, Eve and I are real close, but Mary's more like me than Eve is. "

"So you and Mary take after your mom? I saw a lot of Eve in your dad, though Eve is way more social."

"Pretty much. Where Eve gets the social thing, none of us know." Jake laughed. "But she should have been the one to take over the ranch in all honesty. That's the kind of thing that makes her happy, that and Flynn, and teaching chemistry to teenagers."

Cassandra smiled. "What was that with your mom when she left?"

Jake rolled his eyes, "that was Mama, not being subtle at all. She says she'll take them for the night, said it was her gift to me, then the woman winked at me! Winked! Like I'm a teenager."

Cassandra burst into laughter. "She doesn't know that we're taking that slow."

"Still! My mama!"

"Well," Cassandra giggled. "Maybe she meant that it was a gift that you won't have to spend the night trying to put to bed two children that ate as much cake as those two did today."

Jake's eyes widened. "You have a point. By the way, I want to thank you for that. Eve said there were some tough moments and you handled them like a champ."

"They were excited and they wanted to do something nice for you. I have to admit I had to do a little counting to ten sometimes, but we made it through."

"I have to count to ten a lot, sometimes twenty. You're gettin' a hang of this parentin' thing, darlin'."

She shook her head, "I don't know about that. I think I let Matt walk all over Maggie . . . ."

He kissed the side of her head, "You'll figure it out. Trust me it's a hell of a learnin' curve. Some days I come down here and wonder what the hell I'm doin' myself. And I can't say that May would have been any better. It's like anythin' else, honey, one day at a time. You just get back up on the horse every day."

"Good pep talk," Cassandra giggled and he laughed.

"So how does 35 feel?" She asked, deciding to change the subject. "Do you still feel like you're a 100 some days?"

"Not right now, but I probably will." Jake fell silent for a moment. "Can I ask you somethin'? I can't believe I never asked this. But when is your birthday? And how old are you?"

Cassandra smiled, "It was April 2 and I turned 30. Worried you were robbing the cradle?" She giggled.

"No, I figured you were younger than me, but not by much and I was right."

"Not too much no. Can I ask you something? How old were you when you and May got married?"

"22," Jake sighed. "May was six months younger than me, so she was still 21. We got married a few weeks after graduation, went straight to grad school."

They fell silent for a few moments, Cassandra feeling like she'd asked the wrong thing. She moved the arm she'd had over the back of the sofa and put her hand on the back of his neck, massaging slightly. He let out a pleased sort of a grunt, so she continued, until she could feel the muscles relax and he was pretty much melting against her.

"You were tense, I'm sorry I said anything."

"It's . . .sweetheart you gotta stop apologizin' for askin' questions about May. I mean, it's got to be hard enough for ya livin' with her ghost if you don't know anything about her. It shouldn't bother me to talk about her to you. In fact, I feel like I need to talk about her. Maggie's worried she's losing what memory she has of her mama. I don't want to put you off, but I need to talk about her more to them."

"It's not putting me off. She was important to them and to you. Believe me . . .my mother talked about my father all of the time. To everyone but me. When I brought him up she would shut her mouth and walk out of the room. She used to claim it was because she didn't want to hurt me." Cassandra shrugged. "But honestly? It was because I knew who he really was and she didn't want to go there. Not with the perfect myth of their relationship she was telling everyone else. He wasn't a perfect man, but he did love me and I miss him every day. And I wish she'd talked with me about him. So talk to your kids about their mama, take down those scrapbooks, show them. I'd love to see them too. I bet they were adorable babies."

He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling up, "I'm really glad I have you in my life, Cassandra. Thank you, I really didn't think about it from their perspective. And they're too young to really put it in a way I'd understand."

"I wish I didn't know from experience and I really wish they didn't."

Jake didn't say anything, just moved forward and kissed her. They stayed that way for several minutes, just enjoying the feeling of soft sweet kisses and gentle touches. Jake could tell that Cassandra was tired, so he kept everything soft and soothing, just enjoying being with her.

Then she pulled away and he could tell from the furrow of her brow that a headache was coming on.

"Your head?"

She nodded, apologetic.

"You had a long day and the noise and the sugar probably didn't help. I shouldn't have kissed you, actually, I'm starting to be able to tell when they're coming on."

"No, never apologize for kissing me! That actually kept me distracted for a bit. But I realize I have a problem. Eve brought me here and you've had a few beers. I could call my friend Ezekiel and see if he can take me home. Or try Uber."

"You could stay here. I can have you home before my mama gets back with the kids."

"Jake . . . ."

"Sweetheart, c'mon, you're in no condition for that anyway. If you don't feel comfortable in my bed, I have a guest room. It's a wee bit dusty, but we can put new sheets on the bed."

Cassandra thought about things for a moment, then she asked softly, "Your bed is it . . . ."

Jake tilted his head not quite sure what she was asking, especially when she blushed. But before she could clarify, he realized. "Oh, no, it's not the bed May and I . . . this was her house, yes, but last year I got a new mattress and a new bed too."

"Then okay," Cassandra nodded, "I'd rather spend the night in your arms. I was hoping for different circumstances for that though."

He gently kissed her forehead, "We'll have that, another night. Let's get you lying down before that head gets worse."

They weren't that much different in height, which made finding her something to sleep in difficult. His tee shirts weren't long enough and it was too hot for sweats.

"Hang on a minute, somewhere in here," he dug in a drawer, "I have a package of boxers that I haven't opened. How the . . . there they are. Why I threw them in the drawer instead of opening them right away, I don't know. But they'll do right?"

She nodded, with the elastic and the longest tee shirt he had, it would be enough to preserve modesty and still be comfortable.

"I throw the toothbrushes from the dentist in the top drawer in the bathroom. And you can feel free to use my soap or whatever."

He'd already changed for bed when she came back in, and he could tell she was in pain, as soon as he got her into bed, he turned off the light.

"Gonna brush my teeth and I'll be right back."

"It's early," she muttered when he came back, sliding in next to her and curling an arm around her waist. "I took a pill, I'll be asleep in minutes."

"Then I'll hold you until you fall asleep and if I'm still awake I'll go downstairs."

"Okay," she murmured. She turned so that her back rested comfortably against his chest. "Could you stroke my head? That helps sometimes."

"Anything you want, darlin'."

He gently stroked across her forehead and through her hair until he could tell she was asleep. He had considered getting up and coming back later. But he was so comfortable where he was that he felt his own eyelids getting heavy. So instead he settled her more comfortably against him and followed her off to dreamland.

* * *

Jake wasn't used to sharing a bed, it had been a couple of years since Hope and even then they rarely spent the whole night together. The kids had mostly grown out of the need to crawl into bed with him during thunderstorms or after nightmares, though it happened from time to time.

He'd woken up a few times during the night, once he'd had to reluctantly roll away from Cassandra. It was simply too hot to stay cuddled. She hadn't woken, but she seemed uncomfortable, the way her forehead was scrunched up and her tee shirt was damp from sweat. He figured the drug was probably the only thing keeping her under. It was just as well, she needed her sleep to feel better.

Still as warm as it was, he hadn't been able to fall back asleep until he reached out a hand and laid it gently on her back. It was oddly comforting and made him think of when he'd had to put a hand on Matt's back when he was a baby to get him to sleep.

He didn't wake again until morning, when he found that he'd shifted on to his back. Cassandra had turned over and was now laying with her head on his chest. He blinked toward the clock, 9am. Well, Mama would take the twins to church and it wouldn't hurt him to miss a service. Knowing his mother, she'd take them to breakfast afterward and they wouldn't be back until at least noon.

He kissed the side of Cassandra's head and she woke up with a soft little moan.

"Hey," he said softly, "your head feelin' any better?"

She blinked and raised her head up off his chest. "I think so," she winced. "Ugh, I hate taking that one. It puts me to sleep but I feel so groggy. Mmm, was it hot in here last night?"

"Yeah, too hot to cuddle but we ended up doing it anyway, even after I rolled away." Jake shrugged. "I don't expect the kids to be back until at least noon. So why don't you sleep a little longer? I'm gonna take a shower and then see what I have for breakfast."

"Mkay," Cassandra looked like she was about to fall back asleep on him, so he gently moved her over on to the pillow. Then he slid out of bed.

By the time he'd showered, dressed and come back from starting the coffee maker, Cassandra was sitting up in bed. She looked a little more alert than a half an hour ago when he'd left her.

"Better?" He asked.

"Yes, thank you."

"Feel free to use the shower. The towels on the shelf are clean. You can throw the clothes and the towel in the hamper in there when you're done. Not much is girly unfortunately unless you want to go to the kid's bathroom and use Maggie's strawberry soap."

Cassandra giggled, "I think your stuff will be fine for the day."

"Do you like waffles? I figured I'd take advantage of what little flour is left and the milk and eggs you bought us. What happened with the flour anyway?"

She laughed again, "I'll tell you over breakfast. And waffles sound wonderful."

He was pouring the last of the batter into the maker when she walked into the room. Yesterday she'd been wearing a sleeveless blue cotton sundress over a white tee shirt and a pair of blue tights with white roses on them. The sundress was back, but she was wearing it over one of his tee shirts, an old gray one that was now a little too small for him, the tights were gone, in their place were a pair of pink and blue striped knee high socks.

"I borrowed a shirt, I hope you don't mind. I seemed to have spilled on mine last night."

He grinned, "it's okay, that shirt's old. How did you even find it?"

"I remembered where you pulled the tee shirt you gave me to sleep in from and went looking for the smallest one you had."

He nodded, "makes sense. But where did you find the socks?"

"Oh, I keep a pair of socks in my purse in case I rip my tights."

"Why do I ask women questions like that? At least you didn't give me that 'you dumb male' look that Eve gives me when she pulls something odd out of her purse."

Cassandra smirked. "Those smell wonderful, anything I can do to help?"

"There's some blueberries in the fridge if you could wash them. I made orange vanilla waffles, so I think the blueberries will work well on top of them. I already cut the rest of the orange up."

A few minutes later, they were digging into the waffles. Cassandra was so impressed by how good they were.

"I think you need to make me breakfast more often!" She exclaimed savoring a mouthful.

"I think I do too," and Jacob's eyes were dark over the edge of his coffee mug as he watched her. She blushed and ducked her head.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"Don't be. It's not your fault you weren't feeling well. And I wasn't planning on you stayin' last night. But it was nice. It's been a while since I've even shared a bed with anyone."

"Did you sleep okay? I know I was out of it."

"I did, mostly, woke up a few times but I feel fine this morning so I must have gotten a decent amount of sleep. Now were you gonna tell me about the flour?"

So Cassandra launched into a story about the baking of the cake and by the end, Jake was laughing so hard tears were coming out.

"It's funny now, but there were times. . . ." Cassandra chuckled.

"That's all part of this parentin' thing, Cassie. You have to laugh about it later or you'll cry then. And sometimes they do the damnedest things and it's so hard not to laugh when you need to be serious with them."

"That happens sometimes at work too, glad it's not just me."

They finished up breakfast and Cassandra insisted on washing the dishes before Jake took her home. He walked her up to her apartment and kissed her at her front door.

"Did you have a good birthday?" She asked.

"The best one I've had in a long time, Cassandra," he gently caressed her cheek. "My children, my sister and my girlfriend made me this great cake full of love. My friends and family came to celebrate. And despite the circumstances, I got to wake up with you in my arms. I've said this before, but I'm really glad you're in my life, sweetheart. You've made it better in ways I can't even begin to tell you."

"I feel the same way about you, Jake. This month has been almost magical. And I hope it gets even better. But you need to get home. Go be Daddy."

He kissed her once more time and told her to keep the tee-shirt. She giggled and sent him on his way. Then she went into her apartment where she was greeted by a demanding and hungry feline.

"Yes, yes, yes Sparky, even though you still have food in your bowl, you silly cat."


	15. Fourth of July

Cassandra giggled and pumped the playground swing to go higher. Their Thursday lunch date was a little on the early side due to other commitments so the playground in the little park down the road from her apartment was mostly empty, the usual cast of children having gone home for lunch. They'd gone for a walk after lunch and Cassandra just couldn't resist the swings. Jake swung gently on his, watching her. Today she was wearing green and pink plaid shorts, his old gray tee (something that had caused a rather lingering kiss when he'd picked her up) and a white crochet vest. Instead of tights, she had on green and pink argyle socks that only went up to mid calf and her gray hi-tops. For once she actually seemed cooler than him and he'd wished he'd worn cargo pants instead of jeans.

"So," he said. "Do you have plans for the 4th? I know the library's closed for the weekend."

She slowed down her swinging. "Ezekiel wanted me to go with him to some pool party but it's really not my scene. Actually glad to have an excuse to turn him down because he's been after me for a while to go to one of his things. I really like him, but I don't know, that 6 year difference in our ages sometimes . . . Not that I was ever into that stuff when I was 24 either."

Jake shrugged, "I was a married man trying to get through grad school and stretch a dollar and a half into five when I was 24."

"He did suggest going down to see the fireworks. And while I love them, the noise . . ." She shook her head.

"Ah, then I have a solution for that. Have you ever been to Flynn's?"

She stopped swinging and looked over at him. "No, but oh, they live by the lake!"

"Exactly," he grinned. "The noise and the crowds used to scare the kids too. So we have a barbecue out at Flynn and Eve's. You can see the fireworks perfectly from their patio but since they're on the other side of the lake, usually no smoke and very little noise. I mean, if you'd like to come. Eve assumed you were coming when she called yesterday, but I didn't want to speak for you."

"I'd love to come," Cassandra smiled. "I do owe Ezekiel a movie night or something. I can't help it though that I'd rather spend time with you."

"Really now," Jake grinned at her and twisted his swing to face her. "I think that's the nicest thing a girl's said to me."

She twisted to face him and giggled, "silly."

Then she kissed him, they didn't linger too long as the increase in noise suggested that kids were coming back to the playground.

"Well I think that's our cue," Jake backed away from her.

They untangled their swings and walked back toward her apartment, holding hands.

"Should I bring something?" She asked.

"You'll probably want to call Eve," Jake shrugged. "Last I heard, Flynn was smoking a brisket. I'm bringing coleslaw and peach pie. I bet she'd appreciate that potato salad of yours though."

"I'll call her," Cassandra sighed. "I'm sorry today has to be so short. The trouble with holiday weekends, I have them off but lots of other people do too and I have errands to run."

"Honey, it's okay. You're the one who has been so understanding when I can't get a sitter or I'm off taking the kids to the zoo or whatever. I can certainly accommodate you when you have things of your own. Or if you want to go out with Ezekiel or someone else. I know you had a life before you met me. I keep overwhelming you with my life, it's only fair."

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you. I guess you're right, we both have to make things work. We're doing a good job so far. So how was the zoo?"

Jake chuckled. "Hot and crowded. How I longed for the air conditioning and the comfy chairs of the library. But the kids had a great time, so that's what matters."

They stopped at his car, parked in the street in front of her building. They kissed goodbye with their usual promises to text each other when they got to their destinations safely.

* * *

Cassandra ended up bringing her potato salad and a big jug of her homemade lemonade. Jake made two kinds of coleslaw and two pies. The kids had contributed a garden salad which was basically two bags of salad with some cherry tomatoes and carrots. But they had cut both vegetables under their dad's careful supervision and he was quite proud of them.

There was a lively crowd on the Carsens' patio and there was a wide variety of food to go with the brisket that Flynn had going and the hot dogs he had on the grill for the small fry.

Cassandra saw several of her co-workers and their families at the barbecue although Ezekiel hadn't come. He'd texted her that he met a girl at the pool party on Friday and was hanging out with her and her friends at the fireworks. She figured he wouldn't have come anyway, this was more of a family kind of event. And Ezekiel only worked well with children above the age of 13.

She was actually surprised to see Jenkins though at the barbecue. She would swear he lived at the library as she had never seen him at an event or even out in town. Of course, she'd only worked at the library for two years, it being her first job out of library school. She'd considered herself very lucky to get it, given the market but Flynn had told her she had something special.

"Hi, Mr. Jenkins," she said sweetly to him as she helped Matt fill his plate.

"Well hello Ms. Cillian, young Master Stone."

"Master?" the little boy raised his eyebrow, looking a lot like his father in miniature.

"That's the formal term for little boys, when you're a little older you'll be Mister like your daddy." Cassandra explained.

"I like it!" The boy proclaimed and then remembering his manners. "Hello, Mr. Jenkins. My plate's full now Miss Cassie, can I go sit?"

"Sure, be careful taking that plate now."

Jenkins looked with approval, "very polite those Stone children. But then their father is surprisingly well mannered for a cowboy."

Cassandra shook her head laughing, she was used to Jenkins and knew he was actually praising her boyfriend and his children. "I am surprised to see you here, I know you're not fond of crowds."

"Ah, but I am quite the fan of Texas barbecue. Mmm, caramelized proteins, remarkable." And with that he left carrying his plate.

"Never change, Jenkins," Cassandra said softly as he walked away.

"Well hullo Cassandra," Flynn said bouncing up, he'd been too busy to say hello when she and Jake had arrived. "You look very festive. I love the brooch."

Cassandra had gone for the full color scheme, navy high waisted sailor style shorts over a pair of white tights and red hitops, a red striped tee shirt and a white denim vest. Pinned to her vest was an red, white and blue rhinestone eagle and she wore matching earrings. Little Maggie had shyly asked her that morning to help her pick out an outfit too. So Maggie was almost a mini Cassandra in a pair of navy shorts and a red tee shirt with a white anchor on it. She didn't wear tights though, but she had red sneakers and little white socks.

"Thank you, your place is lovely and this party is great."

"So," Flynn looked a little lost for words. Then he blurted out, "everything okay with you and my brother-in-law? Do I have to worry about losing you?"

Cassandra looked a little stunned. "Losing me?"

"I've been kinda worried that if something goes wrong, you might leave us." Flynn admitted.

"Why would . . . ."Cassandra shook her head, her boss was a dear, but he was a little odd. "I love my job. And everything is going okay with Jacob so far. I mean it's early yet. But I wouldn't blame you if it did. Is that why you worry because he's your brother-in-law?"

"Well my dearest Eve was going to set you up but . . . ." Flynn trailed off. "Oops?"

"She was, was she?" Cassandra giggled. "But she didn't. Jake and I . . . ." She grinned. "Well, maybe she did just a little. But don't worry about it. Everything is fine."

"Good, good, well enjoy. Oh by the way, this potato salad is outstanding."

She finally took her plate and joined Jake at the table. The kids were sitting with some of her co-workers kids, having a blast at a smaller kid's table. Eve and Flynn had brought out all of the seating they had and had borrowed some from the neighbors that were also at the party. Jake had commandeered their little bistro table that normally sat on an upstairs balcony. There was only room for two, so they had a little privacy.

"Hey you," Jake said, sipping a glass of lemonade. He had to drive tonight, so he'd stayed clear of the beer. "I was wondering if you were coming back."

She handed him the piece of pie she'd gotten up to get them when Matt had asked for help.

"Well, Matt needed some help with his plate. Then I ran into Jenkins and Flynn. Flynn said something interesting."

"He always does. What did he say?"

"He said that Eve wanted to set us up. But she didn't, but now I don't know."

"She didn't though . . .but wait . . ."Jake's eyes narrowed. "Did you tell my sister you were interested in me?"

"Yes, and did you talk to her about me?"

"I did. I asked her for advice on how to ask you out. And let me guess, you asked her for advice on how to let me know you were interested?"

Cassandra nodded.

"Why that sneak!"

His girlfriend laughed. "It worked out okay though, didn't it?"

He smiled fondly at her. "It did. I should thank her instead."

Cassandra took a bite of her pie and let out a little moan. "Oh, honey, your peach pie is even better than your strawberry."

"Darlin', please don't keep moaning like that in public, you're gonna kill me."

Cassandra just smirked at him and licked the crumbs off her fork. She continued to savor her piece of pie, slowly and deliberately while Jake sat silent and staring at her.

"Are you going to eat yours?" She finally asked finishing her last bite and being proud of her voice sounding innocent.

"In a minute," his voice, on the other hand, sounded strained and Cassandra was quite proud of herself. She had yet to be so blatant in her flirting with him and she was rather enjoying his reaction. Though a corner of his lips twitched in a smirk and she realized she'd ended up blushing.

"I'm gonna go find a trash can and get another um water," she said getting up. She did try to put some sway into her hips as she went, as she could feel his eyes on her back.

And she didn't comment when he sat at the table a little longer than he needed to after he finished his pie.

* * *

It was getting late, but the kids were hyped up for the fireworks. The kids had all gathered in the best vantage point on the patio, many of them being hoisted on to their father's shoulders. Maggie was on Flynn's and Matt was carefully standing on top of the now cleaned off picnic table, his aunt standing protectively nearby in case he looked to take a tumble. The twins in good hands, Cassandra and Jacob had wandered down to the edge of the property, close to the lake.

When the fireworks began, Jake slid his arm around Cassandra's shoulders as she tilted her head toward the sky. He found himself watching her more than the fireworks as her face lit up in pure joy and wonder.

She'd been through so much, they both had. And even now the tumor in her head sometimes made her days very difficult. But she always found the joy and happiness in life. She was extraordinary.

And he . . . .

 _Too soon. I can't jinx this by even thinking it. Not yet._

He must have made a quick intake of breath, because she tilted her head to look at him. He kissed her cheek.

"It's just beautiful, that's all."

If she didn't quite believe him, she let him have the lie. And for that he was grateful. They kissed as the fireworks ended and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Tired?" He asked.

"A little bit. But I bet the twins are even more. We should get them home."

"Yeah, we should."

When they got back up to the house, Flynn was now holding Maggie, who was trying really hard not to fall asleep against his shoulder. Jake picked up Matt, who was sitting on the edge of the table, looking just as tired. Eve went to help Cassandra gather up all of their containers and other belongings while Flynn helped Jake get the kids into the car.

They dropped Cassandra off first though she was concerned about him getting both kids inside the house by himself.

He chuckled, "I've been doin' that since they were toddlers, Cassie."

"I know," she said softly. "But you're not alone anymore."

"Oh Cassandra," he caressed her cheek. "That . . . . thank you."

She nodded, blinking back a sudden tear. She knew what he was afraid to say. She was just as afraid as he was. It was so early. Yet she meant it, he'd never be alone again if she had any say in the matter.

The kids were asleep though they'd soon be awake, so he quickly leaned over and kissed her in the dark of the car.

"Good night Cassandra. I'm just . . . ."

"I know," she kissed him again. "I am too. Be careful getting home."

"Yes ma'am."

This time she didn't giggle but the smile she gave him was tender. "Good night Jake."

He sat behind the wheel and watched until she was in her building. Then he took a deep breath and headed home.


	16. Play Date

Wednesday night, Jake called Cassandra, his voice apologetic. "I'm so sorry for cancelling out on you again. But I can't find anyone to take my shift with the kids."

"Maybe I can come help you? You said that you split the day with another parent right? We can spend time together and just hang out after the kids go to the next house."

"Cassandra . . .there are 12 kids. I don't know if you want to help."

"Don't be silly! I'm a children's librarian. I just had day camp for 20 8 to 10 year olds. I think I can handle your crowd."

"You don't know what you're gettin' yourself into. But if you really want to, then hey come over."

* * *

"Oh my God," Cassandra breathed, leaning against Jake's front door as the last of their charges went down the street to the next house. "You were **not** kidding."

"I warned you. I asked you this morning if you wanted to back out," Jake quirked a smile at her. "And you said you were game. Gonna guess I won't have help next Thursday?"

"I'll be alright, now I know what to expect. Maybe next week we plop them in front of a Disney movie?"

"I have done that in the past, believe me. You're the one who showed up with your art supplies. They had a good time though."

Cassandra laughed, moving to help him clean up the newspaper that was covering his living room floor. They intended to put the kids outside with the finger paint but a strong wind had kept blowing everything away so they'd moved into the living room.

"They actually were pretty good," Jake reflected. "Just really really loud. Is your head okay?"

"Yeah, I figured it would be loud so I took a pill before I got here to head it off." She balled the paper up and stuffed it into a trash bag that he supplied. "I enjoyed meeting Matt and Maggie 's friends. And most of the parents, except maybe Mrs. Carnes. . . ." Cassandra hadn't quite liked the pitying look that particular mom had given her. Though she thought maybe the woman thought she was being forced into the babysitting when she'd volunteered.

"Don't mind Diane," Jake rolled his eyes. "May didn't get along with her either. Thought she was a snob. She's a good neighbor but she is a bit uptight."

"Well, Darlene offered to take me to lunch some time and I didn't talk to Jessica except when she came to get the kids but she seemed nice. So did Jason's dad, I can't remember his name."

"Brian. He's a single dad too. His wife . . . .well I don't pry but he's got the kids. Jason's the youngest, the older kids used to come but I think they prefer to play Xbox instead. He'd rather have an adult around for Jason."

Cassandra smiled, finishing putting the paints away. "I love that you have all these people around for support. And Eve and your mom. I don't really have too many friends outside of work. You know Ezekiel is always trying but his scene is not my scene. And I made the mistake of dating a guy in the last circle of friends I made and they all were his friends first. I don't blame them really, but . . . ."

"That sucks."

She shrugged, "that's how it goes. Besides," she smiled. "I have you to hang out with."

"Sweet talker," he grinned back. "And you've got my sister now."

"Yeah, after I set poor Flynn straight."

"Huh, why?"

"Oh, he was under the impression that somehow if things went wrong with you, I'd blame him and quit. He mentioned something about that on Saturday so Tuesday we went to lunch and had a talk. I think he's good now. I also found out just how close he and May were."

Jake nodded. "They were, she was his best friend. At first I kinda felt bad when I set him up with my sister."

"Really? They seem like they're incredibly happy."

"They are. But Flynn's . . . ."

"A little weird. Yeah."

"And Eve had been setting me up on these **awful** blind dates. Awful. Like I swear Cassie, she was putting me with these women to get revenge on me for stuff I did when I was 7. So I figured, okay, have Flynn. And instead they fell head over heels and ran off and got married six weeks later. Eve is unpredictable."

"Or you knew her better than you thought you did." Cassandra leaned back, "okay, I think we're done. What do you usually do next?"

"Honestly? Sometimes I take a nap. I should go grocery shopping," he groaned. "Wow, so not romantic in the least."

Cassandra chuckled. "Actually . . . ."

"What?"

"Honey, I did this today because I wanted to spend time with you. You don't have to romance me. I know you're a father. I know you make these commitments to help out other people who helped you out. You have to feed them and clothe them. It's what you do. You're their father. And I don't care if we're grocery shopping or microwaving their lunches. I just want to be with you. Don't change anything for me. The real you is the one I want."

Jake stared at her for a moment, then crossed the few inches of space between them on the floor. His lips suddenly came crashing against hers. Cassandra was a little startled, he'd never kissed her like this before, but it only took a moment before she was opening up for him. The kiss grew in passion, her hands diving into his hair, one of his in her hair, the other around her waist, pulling her closer. It was getting uncomfortable on their knees, so during a break for air, Cassandra pushed him forward, he landed on his back on the carpet, pulling her down on top of him. He smirked at her and then tugged her forward to continue kissing her.

Her little floral dress had these buttons up the front and before he realized quite what he was doing, he'd had them all unbuttoned. His hands crept under her camisole to stroke the bare skin of her back. She'd started working his buttons as he started kissing her neck. It all felt so good he didn't want to stop until a fundamental fact crossed his mind.

"Cassandra . . . " He gasped, placing one last kiss on her neck. "We should probably . . . ."

"I want you," she murmured. "Do you want me?"

Without really thinking, he grabbed her hip pressing her tighter against him, she smirked. "I take that as a yes."

"Yes," he gasped. "God yes, I want you. But I don't have anything . . . it's been years since I . . . ."

"I'm on the pill," Cassandra said, "But I might have a condom in my purse. Ezekiel is always putting one in there for a joke."

"Your friend is weird . . .but . . ." He kissed her again, giving into the desire. "Not down here, up in the bed."

She smiled, moving off of him to go find her purse. She rummaged through her bag and triumphant held up her prize.

He smirked at her, grabbing her for a kiss. "Remind me to thank your strange friend. And take a trip to the drugstore."

Giggling, she let him take her hand and lead her upstairs.

The minute the bedroom door was shut behind them, clothes started coming off as Jake moved her toward the bed. Once her dress, cami and tights were off, Cassandra fell back on the bed, watching him as he finished his own undressing.

He stopped dead though staring at her. Sprawled across his bed, her gorgeous hair fanned out behind her, just in teal boy shorts and a matching lacy bra. She looked so much like a painting that he wished he had the talent to capture the moment.

And then the most extraordinary thing happened. The Mabel that always existed in his mind, even to his regret when he'd been intimate with other women, turned and winked at him. Then she shut a door and vanished.

"Jake? Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm real good. You look so . . .wow . . .gorgeous. I'm just admirin' the view."

She blushed, then smiled softly, sitting up and holding out her hand to him. He put his hand in hers and let her lead him through a dance as old as time. And the only woman he thought about was her.

* * *

Later, Jake tugged the sheet up over them as they entwined on the bed, their bodies starting to cool.

"How long do we have before the kids come back?" Cassandra asked, lifting her head up from his chest.

"About forty-forty five minutes."

"Then we can lay here for another twelve minutes or so." Cassandra said, curling back into him.

He chuckled, not asking where she got her calculations. Instead, he just held her, fingers running idly through her hair, thoughts running through his head. May was back, in his mind, but just in a tiny corner, where she would always be. Except apparently when she thought he needed privacy. And he thanked her for giving him this gift. For loving him enough to help him move on. Here in this bed with the woman that was his future. And he thought about his birthday and the night Cassandra had spent in his arms.

"I'm glad I got a new bed."

"Huh?"

"The night of my birthday, when you were worried about sleeping in May's bed?"

"Oh," she looked embarrassed. "It just didn't seem right."

"I know," he pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "I do understand. I have lots of memories of her here in this house. But this bed? This is yours. I've only shared it with you. These are our memories. And I like that idea, that we are creating our own memories. Our own relationship, that's only ours."

"I like that thought too," she smiled.

"These feelings I have for you . . .they're special . . .and they're unique. And that's . . . well amazing. Just like you are."

She was glad that he was letting them both off the hook in terms of sharing their emotions. "I've never felt quite this way about anyone either. So you're right, how we feel it is unique and special. It's **us**. And our relationship won't be the same as any other we've had. It'll be **ours**. Our thing."

Jake kissed her, but reluctantly pulled away as things started to get heated once more. "We can't, we have to shower, the kids will be back."

She nodded. "Reality comes calling. And that's what I signed up for. So it is what it is. I told you, any time spent with you is worth it."

"By the way, that feeling is mutual." He grinned at her, changing the mood. "Hey, wanna stay for dinner? I'm making my chicken spaghetti."

"Let me guess it's legendary?"

"Exactly!"

* * *

It was late Friday morning at the library. Cassandra had stayed late at Jake's the night before. The kids had been excited to spend the majority of the day with her and their father. When she did eat with them, it was usually for one meal, but she'd come shortly after breakfast that day and had lunch and dinner with them. And things had gone well when the kids came home from the neighbors, even if they had to quickly dress because they'd made the mistake of showering together and had gotten well, rather distracted. Then Cassandra had had to quickly come up with an answer for why her hair was wet when Maggie asked her. Luckily the little girl had believed her story about spilling finger paint. Jake's chicken spaghetti was pretty good, she'd long since stopped questioning his skills in the kitchen. Then they'd watched a movie together. Then the twins had asked her for a story. And she'd been reluctant to leave Jake after the children were asleep and they'd cuddled on the sofa downstairs. He'd been just as clingy, their newfound intimacy making them want more. She'd lingered so long in his arms that she was surprised he hadn't asked her to spend the night and they'd figure out what to tell the kids in the morning. But she did have to work, so finally she'd kissed him goodbye one last time and left.

It had been so domestic and overwhelming and . . . . Absolutely perfect.

Cassandra was smiling dreamily to herself when she heard Ezekiel calling her name.

"Finally! What is with you lately?"

That's when she noticed he was holding her purse. "Ezekiel, what are you doing with my purse?"

"Wellllll," he drew the word out and grinned, holding her purse. "I was looking for the condom that I put in your purse on Wednesday afternoon to replace it with this neon one I got. But . . .hmm, Cassandra it seems like it's not in here. And I know you don't usually dignify this joke by throwing them away . . . ."

Cassandra tried. She put a huge amount of effort into it. But it was no use, the deep red blush crept across her face before she could stop it. And she knew she was caught, no amount of denial was going to help her now.

"Oh my God, Cassandra Cillian, you got lucky! "

"Shhh, not so loud," she hissed.

He stared at her, tapping his finger on his lips. Cassandra had mentioned that she'd been seeing Flynn's brother-in-law but she'd made it sound like it was a completely casual thing. Now he knew better."My, my, my. So this thing with the twins' daddy is way more serious than you said."

"Yes, okay, Jacob and I are serious. Can you drop it?"

"You know that condom was red, white and blue. I did not know you guys were into that kinda thing, I'm gonna have to get more creative!"

"Ezekiel, stop it! We're aware of what it was, but we . . ." If it was possible, Cassandra actually got a deeper red.

And then, Cassandra heard a sound and turned to see Eve, who'd come to bring her husband his lunch, standing behind her. Mrs. Carsen had her hands on her hips, her expression stern.

Cassandra suddenly wished the ground would swallow her whole.

"Awkward," muttered Ezekiel.

"Ezekiel?" Eve asked, her drill sergeant voice in place. "Why don't you hand Cassandra her purse and run along? I'd like to talk to Cassandra."

The young man looked between the two women but did as he was told. Cassandra mentally rolled her eyes, she knew that would happen. When Ezekiel had dashed away, Cassandra looked at her boyfriend's sister. She was glaring daggers at Ezekiel's back but Cassandra could see her eyes crinkling up just like Jake's. And she breathed a sigh of relief.

When Ezekiel was finally out of earshot, Eve looked at her. They both exchanged grins and burst into laughter.

"Oh, man that Jones boy! Not that I really wanted to hear what you've been up to with my baby brother. Seriously, red, white and blue?"

Cassandra giggled. "We . . .well you know. . .it was the only one we had. You know, sometimes . . . .Wow, nevermind."

Eve cackled. "Yeah, again. Baby brother. I bet Jake's face was priceless when he realized what it was though. No, don't tell me. How about we go to lunch and we talk about anything else?"

"Good plan," Cassandra laughed. "Very good plan."


	17. Summer Days

The summer moved on, the weeks slipping by as they always did. Sea World wasn't going to happen, but Jake promised he'd consider going the following summer or maybe during Spring Break. A trip to see Jake's sister Mary was planned for mid August shortly before school started.

But true to his word, Jake packed as many activities as he could into this last summer. Depending on her own schedule, Cassandra sometimes joined them. She didn't get to go to the Rangers game but she did come with them to a minor league baseball game.

And she joined them at the water park, where she seemed to have as much fun if not more than the kids. All Jake could think was that he was glad they'd started sleeping together, because the sight of her in a bikini was enough to well, make him glad that the water was cold. He'd been fooled by the demure black cover-up with a sequined watermelon and the beach bag covered with cartoon cats. But when she'd taken off the cover-up to reveal a bikini straight out of a 50s pinup, he had to restrain himself from doing anything that wouldn't be proper in front of the kids.

"That is really hot," he whispered to her as he was rubbing sunscreen onto her back when she asked for a re-apply.

"Really?" she asked, "I mean it's vintage and kinda modest, nothing like those girls over there are wearing. But then again, I imagine those things are painful on those slides. "

"You look amazing in it. Trust me, all kinds of guys here are jealous of my gorgeous girlfriend."

Cassandra blushed prettily but any other flirting was cut off by the twins running up for more sunscreen. But on their next date night, she answered the door wearing the bikini and they never did make the movie they'd been planning on seeing.

They still managed to carve out a few hours on Thursdays and Sundays to spend together. Sometimes they'd end up spending those hours in bed instead of going out. And other times their date was just an hour spent cuddling on the sofa after the neighborhood kids had gone off to the next house.

* * *

One Thursday near the end of July, the children were at their grandmother's for the whole night. Cassandra and Jake had been looking forward to the chance to actually spend the whole night together as they hadn't since his birthday.

They were at the local Whole Foods, deciding what to make for dinner. They'd finally picked out some beautiful pork chops and now they were produce deciding on sides. Cassandra was enjoying all of the colors of the fruits and vegetables while Jake sniffed and examined them.

"I want something colorful," she said, grabbing his hand. "Like maybe a mixed sauté?"

"Ooh, that's a good idea. How about . . .corn and tomatoes and an orange bell pepper?"

"A little red onion maybe? We need something green too."

"Basil? I have some at home. Maybe one of those Italian . . . ." Jake's voice trailed off as he noticed a woman standing near the onions.

She had a toddler in the shopping cart and when she turned, he could see that she was a few months pregnant.

"What's the matter?" Cassandra asked.

But the woman had noticed him staring and smiled softly at him, pushing the cart nearby.

"Jake?"

"Hope, I thought that was you. You well . . . ."

"I got my wish," Hope smiled. "This is Tommy and his little brother or sister is on its way in the fall."

Cassandra cleared her throat and Jake turned to her, remembering his manners.

"Right, Hope, this is my girlfriend Cassandra Cillian and Cassandra, this is Hope Walker."

"O'Brian now," Hope said with a smile that Jake noticed didn't quite reach her eyes. "It's nice to meet you, I'm glad Jake found someone. How are the twins? They must be ready for school soon, right?"

"First grade in August," Jake nodded. "They're great, growing like weeds. Yesterday they were babies. So enjoy that time with your little ones."

She smiled, "thank you, I'll take that advice. Well tell them and Eve I said hello. I'll let you get back to your shopping. It was great seeing ya, Jake."

"You too. And uh, congratulations."

Cassandra said it was nice meeting her but when Hope was out of ear shot, she leaned over. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. We parted well, it wasn't a bad breakup or anything. It just really didn't work. I'm happy for her."

Cassandra hummed, handing him an orange bell pepper to inspect. He nodded at the quality and she added it to the cart.

"What's wrong?" He asked her.

"She didn't seem happy somehow . . . ."

"I noticed that too," he shook his head. "Sometimes you make things your priority so much, you miss out on what's really important. Which is exactly why it didn't work out with us." He sighed and looked over at her, "let's get back to **us** , okay?"

She smiled, "you said something about Italian?"

"Right, those long Italian peppers, want to hand me one?"

* * *

They worked in Jake's kitchen to make dinner, talking and laughing. Cassandra loved most moments she spent with him, but some of her favorites involved the two of them in the kitchen. The way they moved in sync and handed each other what was needed almost without being asked. The way he'd brush a kiss over her cheek when he'd lean past her. Stolen kisses while they waited for something to be cooked. And of course, the delicious results of their efforts.

Sometimes they'd go for a walk after dinner, but the weather had turned Texas hot, so they decided to stay in. They debated a movie but settled for Scrabble.

The first couple of games stayed pretty normal, or as normal as a game of Scrabble between two geniuses could be. The third game started getting flirtatious as more and more words of an amorous nature were being spelled out on the board.

Cassandra giggled when she drew tiles and Jake almost choked on the last of his wine when he saw what she'd spelled out.

"Okay, that's it, you're askin' for it, missy."

"Yes, yes I am."

But she dodged his kiss, "I have a surprise, so give me 15 minutes and come up to the bedroom."

"It's not another one of them condoms is it?" Jake asked. "He hasn't gotten worse has he?"

"Nah, he stopped when he realized we were actually using them." She giggled.

He shook his head at her. Truth was, they did sometimes use them, laughing as they did. Other times Cassandra threw them away to make Ezekiel think they had. It seemed to have stopped the little game, which is what she'd intended.

She went over to him and kissed him, slow and sensual.

"Oh man, you're gonna kill me."

"15 minutes, mister. Not a second more or less."

Knowing Cassandra, she was not kidding so he hit the timer app on his phone the second she hit the stairs.

Exactly 15 minutes later, he was pushing open his bedroom door. Cassandra was sitting at the foot of the bed and when he opened the door, she stood up.

"Oh wow," Jake said, his mouth opening slightly. "You look beautiful."

She was wearing a mint green chemise, that stopped about mid thigh. It was trimmed in beige lace and she did a twirl to show it off and he saw it was open in the back, trimmed in more lace. He could see flashes of a lace panty underneath.

"Like it?" She asked, her smile just a little more sultry than usual.

"Love it," then he kissed her, backing her toward the bed.

* * *

Much later, Jake lay awake in the dark of his bedroom. Cassandra was asleep, her head on his chest. For whatever reason, he couldn't get his own thoughts to settle.

He'd nearly forgotten about running into Hope at the store, but now she popped up in his mind. It hadn't bothered him seeing her, as he'd told Cassandra, they'd not had a bad break. No hearts had been broken because neither had really given their hearts fully to the relationship. But there was a certain level of disappointment. Hope was a nice woman, kind, a great mother. They'd had a satisfying physical relationship. But it just wasn't . . . . It wasn't enough. And Hope's desperation for a child had colored her every move. By the end of the relationship, he'd felt like she was pressuring him into marriage and another child.

And now he could see that while Hope had gotten the babies she wanted so much, she'd not found happiness. He felt happy for her to have gotten those children but sorry for her for whatever was making her unhappy. And that's all he felt for her.

Toward a woman that he had once seriously considered marrying.

Although all the while, the Mabel in his head had not been happy. But she was right, he was sacrificing what they'd had . . .for what? A friend who wasn't bad in bed who was good with his kids?

Besides, he looked down fondly at the woman sleeping on his chest, she didn't hold a candle to Cassandra in that department.

Cassandra made him happy. On every level. His relationship with her was similar to the one he had with Mabel. His feelings for her were slightly different, but basically . . . . Mabel had been his best friend, his soul mate and had fate not had different plans he would have happily spent his whole life with her.

He wondered though and he'd asked May so many times if it was possible to have two soul mates in a lifetime. Because Cassandra was his best friend and he could happily see himself living out the rest of his life with her.

 _He loved her._

But he hadn't told her yet. Sometimes he told himself it was because it was too early. They'd only been together a month and a half. He'd told May he loved her two weeks into their relationship, but then he'd been half in love with her for six months by that point. And he was a teenager, he hadn't really realized just how deep his love for her was until he was saving all of his cash to buy her that tiny engagement ring.

He was an adult now. And he loved Cassandra. It wasn't that "I'm really lonely, might not get a better offer and I do like you maybe I could grow to love you" feeling he'd had for Hope. No this was so similar to the way he'd felt about May. Not quite the same, May would always have her place in his heart. But all of the rest of him . . . .

Belonged to Cassandra.

And maybe it was time to finally tell her so. Cassandra stirred in his arms and looked up at him.

"Are you still awake?"

"Yeah, not sure why."

She smiled up at him. "I could think of a way of wearing you out."

He smirked, "I'm listening."

She reached up and kissed him and he rolled them over. Maybe until he could get up the nerve to say the words, he'd just settle for showing her.


	18. An Ex-Tale

The first Thursday in August, Cassandra and Jake took the twins to the Legoland Discovery Center. Jake had probably as much fun as his son did and Cassandra got a kick out of watching her boyfriend's eyes fill with wonder. Maggie wasn't as into it as her brother, but she still had fun. The more girl focused section was okay, but her favorite part was the pirate themed water play area.

There was a concerning moment when Cassandra's head got too caught up in the buildings and calculating how they were built, numbers and trajectories flew across her mind. She was in danger of getting lost again when she felt Jake's hand on the small of her back. And his gentle voice calling her back to him, using the techniques they'd been working on. It did concern the twins who saw it all. And Jake and Cassandra took them to the cafe and over a snack explained some of Cassandra's condition. They already knew about her bad headaches but hadn't noticed the synesthesia before. But they explained about how she could see numbers and sometimes she'd get a little carried away. Maggie gave her a hug and Matt actually thought the condition was cool, in that way a child did. Cassandra had smiled and told him that sometimes it wasn't that bad and could even be useful, but sometimes it was very scary and overwhelming.

Then they went back to what they were doing and had a good time. Jake had promised to take the kids to the Rain Forest Cafe for dinner after Legoland, so as soon as everyone was dry from the pirate section, they ventured across the mall. They'd put their names in at the desk and got their pagers. That's when Jake got a phone call.

"It's work," he said to Cassandra, "The reception isn't the best in here, so I'm going to go outside."

She nodded. "I doubt we'll be called before you get back, so we'll either be here in the gift shop or out on one of the benches."

The twins were a little restless still, wound up from their day, so Cassandra decided to walk with them in the mall so that they wouldn't start running.

It was on one of the turns in front of the restaurant that Matt nearly ran into a man. Cassandra went to apologize and her jaw dropped.

"Cassandra?" The man looked as shocked as she did. Maggie grabbed hold of her hand, not liking how this stranger knew her father's girlfriend.

"D-David?"Cassandra willed her voice to work. "I never expected to see you here."

"I . . .I'm here on a business trip. A conference at one of the convention centers. Thought I'd run over here to the outlet mall while I was in town. I'd um heard you'd moved to Texas. " He looked down at the children who were now both clinging to Cassandra. "Are you a nanny now?"

Cassandra stared at him. This man who'd broken her heart so badly was talking to her like she was a casual acquaintance he ran into. And suggesting she was a nanny? Her tone went icy, "Hardly. I'm a librarian. These are my **boyfriend** 's children."

"Oh, right. Your mother doesn't seem to know about a boyfriend. She'd mentioned you'd left your r&d job to work in civil service."

His voice reminded her so much of her mother's that she wanted to scream. And her head was pounding. And when she looked down she saw that Matt looked angry. Not at her, at the man in front of her. He was his father's son and she almost hugged him.

"Well, yes, it's very rewarding. And I have commitments today, so um nice seeing you, David."

"You too, Cassandra."

She thought about the bench nearby but she needed to get as far away as she could and she actually rushed past Jake, the kids still clinging to her, into the restaurant. There was a bench just inside and she sunk onto it, Maggie perching on her lap, her arms around her neck, whispering "It's gonna be okay, Cassie."

Jake ran after them. "What happened? Who was that?"

"He's not a nice man. He made Cassie upset." Matt said, his arms crossed.

Cassandra looked up at him over the top of Maggie's head. "That was David."

Jake bit his lip, his urge to swear very high. He looked over at his son. "Take care of Maggie and Cassie, okay? I'm going to have a word with him."

"Jake . . . ."came from Cassandra but Jake had already strode out of the restaurant. He was boiling mad. Jake was normally a soft spoken family man, but he had a dark side. The hell of a temper that had gotten him into plenty of trouble growing up. It was only marriage and maturity that had taught him how to keep it under firm control. But the man that had hurt the woman he loved and scared his children didn't deserve the control.

"David?" He asked the man.

"Yeah, who are you?"

"I'm Cassandra's boyfriend. Now look, you upset her, probably triggered a migraine. And you upset my children. Part of me would like to kick your ass right now . . . ."

David backed up a step. A fuming Jacob Stone could be very intimidating. "Look, I don't want any trouble . . ."

"Just shut up. We're in a public place and I don't wanna do this in front of my kids. But just know this, you son of a bitch, Cassandra is the best thing that's happened to me since my wife died. You didn't appreciate her or deserve her. But I do. So if she cries over you, if my daughter cries because you upset her or Cassandra, then I will find you. And then I will kick your ass. Understood?"

David nodded and turned and walked quickly away. Jake stood in the middle of the mall, taking deep breaths. When he'd gotten his temper back under control, he went back to the gift shop.

Matt was standing waiting by the door, though within Cassandra's sight. Jake put an hand on his shoulder. "How's Cassie, little man?"

"Her head is really bad, Daddy. I think we should go."

Jake nodded, then stooped down. "I wanna thank you for taking care of her and your sister. You're my brave boy."

"Who was that man?"

"Someone who hurt Cassie long ago," Jake shook his head. "He won't bother her again."

Standing up, he took Matt's hand and walked over to Cassandra. She was sitting bent over, one hand on her temple, the other one in Maggie's. Maggie was singing very softly, it sounded like the lullaby that he'd sung to them when they were babies.

"Was that the man who left Cassie in the tower?" Maggie suddenly asked.

Cassandra took her hand from her face and looked at Maggie. She exchanged a glance with Jake, then said softly. "Yes, he was."

"He wasn't as good as mama was," Maggie shook her head. And then suddenly sounded way older, "you're lucky you found Daddy. He's a way better prince."

Despite the pain in her head and her heart, Cassandra actually laughed at that. "Yes, he is. Way better. And I'm so lucky that the three of you are with me."

"Not as lucky as we are," Jake said softly. "Matt thinks we should go home, so I'm going to turn in the pager."

Maggie handed it to her father, even though Cassandra protested. Both Matt and Maggie shook their heads.

"You're sick, Cassie," said Maggie. "We'll come some other time."

While Jake went up to the desk, Cassandra hugged the twins. She was so thankful for having them in her life. She loved them both so much.

And their father.

* * *

Instead of taking Cassandra back to her apartment, they all went back to the Stones'. Cassandra didn't really have it in her to protest, so she just went up and laid down in Jake's bedroom as he directed her as soon as they got home.

"Is she going to be alright?" Maggie asked when Jake had come back downstairs after making sure Cassandra was comfortable and the room was as dark as possible.

He nodded. "She will be, she just needs darkness and quiet for a bit."

He motioned to the couch and called the two kids over. "I wanted to tell you how proud I was of you both today. You handled Cassandra's spell at Legoland well and you handled her having this headache very well."

"Cassie gets sick a lot . . . ." Maggie said, her voice worried. Jake understood. Although her mother hadn't been taken by illness, she had a friend at school whose mother had died of cancer. He imagined that Maggie was now fearful of losing someone else she loved.

"She does," Jake put his arm around her. "But it's only being sick." He took a deep breath. "Her headaches are called migraines. They're very painful and they make her feel very bad. But it's not . . .it's just illness not dangerous. It's not like what happened with Avery's mama. Or Cassie's own daddy. She just has to be careful and take her medicine."

Both children nodded their heads, looking relieved. Jake was glad that they were so smart that it was easier to explain these sorts of things to them.

"We love Cassie," Maggie explained. "We don't wanna lose her."

"So you can't be like that man and walk away from her and leave her all alone." Matt said, his lip quivering.

"I . . ." Jake wasn't sure how to explain this. They were incredibly smart but they still were only six. He couldn't make promises like this to them. Then he took a deep breath. "It's hard to make these kinds of promises when you're an adult. And you'll understand when you're older. But I do promise to try very very hard to make Cassie happy. Okay? I don't want to ever hurt her, but sometimes things happen, no matter what you do."

* * *

Cassandra came down a few hours later. She'd fallen asleep after her headache wore off. The house was quiet and she found Jake in his den working on the computer.

"Hey, feeling better?"

"Yes, where are the twins?"

"I asked Eve if she'd take them for the night. I thought maybe you might want to talk. Or if not, you'd appreciate a little quiet. I also had some work of my own to do, so I appreciated the break."

"I wanted to thank them for being so good today. They really handled it well. "

Jake nodded, coming around his desk and motioning to the sofa. "Maggie was worried about you being sick. One of her friends lost her mother to cancer and so, obviously. And then Matt got worried. I explained that what you have are called migraines and they are very painful for you and cause you to feel very bad. But I assured them it was just illness and nothing dangerous."

Cassandra nodded. "Thank you. I'm sure they were a little scared, I was when I first started having them. They are no fun but I've been tested and assured it's nothing more than the fairly common version of migraines. So they don't have to worry about that."

"They love you, Cassie. They told me so. Made me promise not to do to you what that David did."

Cassandra cracked a smile. "That's hard to promise."

"They're six. I told them I would do my best. But I would never. Ever. Leave you or anyone like that. We might not make it, but I'd . . .what he did was just despicable. And honestly, Cass, he didn't even look like he gave a damn." Jake took a deep breath, there was no sense either of them getting so upset.

Cassandra sighed. "He didn't seem to. We were almost married Jake! It really was the night before our wedding. He broke up with me before the rehearsal. I had to walk into a room full of people and tell them the wedding was off. And my mother and I were out a lot of money for that wedding. And he looked at me today like I was an old classmate or something. Like I was pretty much nothing."

"I'm so sorry."

She shook her head. "It's nothing to do with you. I loved him. I loved him so much. I had plans for a life and a home and a family. And he didn't love me. Never even loved me at all."

She didn't cry but her dejected heartbroken silence broke Jake's heart more than any tears would have.

"I'm going to find him and beat him back to New York," Jake said into the silence.

"Don't, he's not worth it. He's not worth a second of our time." Cassandra said as if she'd been rehearsing.

"Halfway there then? Do you want to hit something? I just . . . Cassandra. . .tell me what I can do to help. Because you're so sad and I don't . . . ."

"There isn't anything you can do, Jake."

The silence crept in again and they both sat there, lost in their own thoughts. Then after a good five or more minutes, Jake cleared his throat.

"I was scared to say the words to you."

She looked at him, confused.

"I didn't want to jinx it. And I've said them before and not meant it. There was only one woman that I ever said them to where I did mean it. Until I met you. And then I kept thinkin', no, it's too early. You'll mess it up. You have to be sure. But I am sure. It's been four years since I was this sure about anything."

Cassandra's eyes widened as her confusion cleared up, but she just let him finish speaking.

"But after today, I'm not going to be like the others that hurt you. I won't let you wonder how I feel about you. I love you, Cassandra. And I mean it. And I'm no longer afraid to say it. I love you."

Tears did come to Cassandra's eyes as she held her hand up against her mouth. "Oh, Jake."

"I know you're thinking that I'm just sayin' that. But I mean it. So much. I'm so lucky to have you. And don't, please, if you're not ready . . . . I just needed you to know how I felt."

"I was scared to tell you too. After what happened with David. It hurt so much. But today, today as I sat in that gift shop with your children clinging to me, trying to make me feel better and all of the love and concern in your eyes. And I was so surrounded by love, I've never felt that way before in my life. Even though my head was hurting and my past was hitting me, I was so happy. And in my mind, the only thought I had was, I love these children and their father. I love you too, Jake."

He smiled, taking her hand in his and she kept talking. "And it's not like it was with Hope. I love your children, but I really really love you. And I know we've both been through so much and it's so early. But I don't . . .I want to build a life with you, Jake."

"I do too." He looked over toward the mantle where the picture of May was. "We had a long chat, May and I. She seems to be of the opinion that I'm right to want to create a life with you."

"I don't want to be . . . ." Cassandra bit her lip. "No, that's not right, because I do want to be a child of yours' mother some day. But I don't want to take May's place, I can't. But I think she knows that. I just want to be me. And today was good, this was the first time the twins kinda treated me more like a stepmother than Daddy's girlfriend."

"They were very protective, especially Matt. He gets that way around Maggie, I always imagined he'd have been that way about his mother."

"It's so early."

"We can't help how we feel, Cassandra. And I've been thinkin' about askin' you to move in. Though maybe after school starts?"

Cassandra nodded her head. "My lease is up for renewal in October. I think I'd like to move in. But that's all up to the twins' approval."

"Well, we'll ask them. Do you want something to eat? It's already 9."

"Wow. Did you eat?"

He nodded. "I'll make you a sandwich. Then how about we just curl up in bed, okay? I just want to hold you tonight."

She nodded. "That sounds wonderful. Thank you."

"I love you, Cassandra."

"I love you, too." Then she kissed him softly.


	19. Mama's Voice

Jake sighed as he ushered his twins in front of him into yet another crowded children's clothing store. Shopping was not one of his favorite things and back to school shopping was so moving toward the bottom of his list of things to do ever. He'd put it off too long and now with their schedule the first weekend of August was the only time they could do this. And it was tax free weekend, which was both good and bad as everyone and their sister was at the stores. Eve and Flynn had taken the kids out on Friday to get their school supplies but he and Cassandra had them today for the clothes. He was actually grateful for a woman's help on this, especially with Maggie's new girly stage. But while Matt was being his usual easy going self (clothes were just things to wear mostly), Maggie was being whiney and difficult. Far more difficult than usual.

He had taken Matt off to the boys section and Cassandra went off with Maggie to the girls. As he expected, he and Matt had finished long before the girls had. But he was treated to quite the scene when he and Matt caught back up with them.

Maggie was having a bit of a meltdown, he could tell even from a distance. As they got within hearing range, he heard Cassandra offering Maggie a different sweater than the one she was holding. Cassandra's tone was still pleasant but he knew her well enough to know that impatience was seeping in. Not enough he figured for Maggie to notice and he really didn't blame Cassandra. His own patience with Maggie today was razor thin. And honestly, it seemed to him like the sweater Cassandra was holding was much cuter than the one that Maggie had.

But then Maggie shouted, "No! Stop it, you ain't my mama!"

Cassandra winced and Matt gasped. And Jake had finally lost his patience. "Margaret Rose Stone!"

Jake was holding a stack of clothes but the look on his face and the authority in his voice (especially the rare use of her full name) caused Maggie to stop dead. Matt looked torn between comforting Cassandra or comforting Maggie and kept looking between the two of them.

Jake kept talking. "I don't know what is going on with you today, but you are gonna stop it right this instant. Cassandra isn't your mama, but she is an adult. And she is in charge of you and you will respect her. Is that clear? "

"Yes, sir," Maggie said, her chin quivering.

"You will apologize to Cassie and we are gonna finish this shoppin' right now. And when we get home, you are going to your room. Understood?"

"Yes," she said in a small voice. "I'm sorry, Cassie."

Cassandra looked over at Jake, not sure what to say. Quickly though, she said, "Thank you, Maggie."

The rest of the shopping trip was very quiet. Matt had squeezed both of their hands in his peace keeping way. Cassandra didn't quite agree with Jake punishing Maggie, because she had a feeling she knew why the little girl had been so upset. But she'd recently been talking to one of the reference librarians who was newly married to a woman with three children. He'd told her the best advice he had was never to contradict the biological parent in front of the children. And to rarely intervene in private unless you really could see no other choice. She decided that was probably the best thing to do here and to ask Jake if she could talk to Maggie in her room later.

* * *

Clothes had been separated for Jake to wash later and Maggie had been sent to her room. Matt had just gone to his, sensing that it was best to be out of the way, especially since his father seemed in a mood of his own.

"Is it always gonna be like this?" Jake sighed. "It was so much easier last year. But of course, they don't fit into anything from last year. Hell, by Christmas I'll be buyin' them more clothes."

"I remember it being an ordeal, yes. I suppose it'll be easier in a couple of years when they're not growing so fast and are less fussy about clothes."

"I'm sorry about Maggie. That was so out of line. Especially this week . . . just Thursday she was telling me that she loved you and she didn't want me to let you go!"

Cassandra pulled him into a hug. "You told me once that kids are unpredictable. Besides, I think I have an idea why she's so upset. And it's really nothing to do with me. She misses her mother. It's a big milestone for a little girl. I know I started high school right after my dad died and I was so upset. But I was older, I knew how to express my emotions. She's only six. Do you mind if I go talk to her?"

"No, I don't mind. Thank you for being understanding."

Cassandra smiled softly. "I can't say that didn't hurt just a little bit. But I do get where she's coming from. I'll see what I can do. Meanwhile, maybe you go find Matt and I don't know play catch or something? You're all wound up and I think you need to go let off some steam."

He nodded. "Not a bad idea. I think Matt was just as annoyed as I was by the whole day, so we probably both can use it."

* * *

Cassandra knocked softly on Maggie's door and she could hear a sniffly and soft, "come in."

When Cassandra opened the door, Maggie tearfully jumped off the bed and ran to her. Colliding with her knees, the words coming out jumbled. "So sorry Cassie. I didn't mean it. I love you. Sorry, sorry, sorry."

"Oh honey, I know you didn't mean it. Come on, let's sit down."

They sat on the bed, Maggie sitting in Cassandra's lap.

"You had a bad day, huh? Did you want to talk about it?"

"Daddy's mad."

Cassandra shook her head slightly. "Your daddy's frustrated, not mad. He didn't have a very good day either. I don't think he likes shopping."

Maggie nodded. "I'm sorry, Cassie."

"I know you are. I know you love me and I love you too. It's okay, we're all allowed to have bad days."

"I just . . ." And Maggie buried her face in Cassandra's neck, crying. "I miss my mama."

Cassandra wrapped her arms around the girl, holding her while she cried. "I know you do."

"Do you miss your daddy?" Maggie asked when her tears had dried up some.

"Every day. My dad and I were so close. But he's always with me in my heart. I've told him all about you and Matty and your daddy. And he's so happy for me. Just like your daddy told your mama all about me."

"Daddy talks to her all the time, but I don't . . . ."

"You don't remember her voice." Cassandra sighed. "Is that what it is? Matt told me once I sing like your mama, would that help any?"

Maggie shook her head. "It does sometimes but it's not the same. Daddy showed us mama's scrapbooks so I know what she looks like. But I don't remember her voice and it's hard to talk to her when she won't talk back!"

"Oh baby," Cassandra kissed the top of her head. "I'm gonna talk to your daddy okay? Maybe he has something that can help with that."

"Could you stay here a while though?"

"Of course, you helped me so much the other day when I was upset, you know."

"I did?"

"You did. You and Matt, but especially you. I know I'm not your mother, but . . . ."

"You're gonna marry daddy some day, aren't you?"

Cassanda nodded her head. "I hope so. Will that be okay? Because I love your daddy very much and I'd like to be his wife, maybe give you a little brother or sister."

Maggie looked thoughtful. "A couple of my friends have stepmoms. One just had a baby. And it's so cute. Maybe you can make it a girl?"

Cassandra laughed. "Well, we'll see what we can do when that actually happens. But it's okay if your daddy marries me?"

Maggie nodded. "Matty and I talked about it. If we can't have mama then we'd like to have you."

"Thank you. But that's probably not gonna be for a while yet. Your daddy and I are still working on stuff."

"Being an adult is weird." Maggie crinkled her nose and Cassandra laughed.

"Yes, yes it is."

* * *

A while later, Jake was walking down the hallway intending to get Maggie for dinner. He hadn't seen Cassandra either, so he assumed she was still with his daughter. As he approached the girl's room, he could hear singing from within. He stopped for a moment, closing his eyes, putting his hand against the wall. Sometimes Cassandra sounded just like May when she sang. And times like that he was torn between love and heartbreak and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. He stood for a few heartbeats, composing himself before knocking gently on Maggie's door.

Cassandra stopped singing and told him to come in. Maggie was curled up in Cassandra's lap, looking up at her with a soft smile. And Jake's heart clenched. In his mind's eye, he could see Maggie cooing over a little baby with downy red hair being cradled in her mother's lap as Cassandra praised her for being such a good big sister.

It was only Cassandra's concerned calling of his name that caused him to snap out of it.

"He's doin' it again," Maggie said to Cassandra.

"Sorry, just drifted. Dinner's ready, if you'd like to wash up. And Maggie, you're done with your punishment. Everything okay here?"

"Yes, we had a nice talk," Cassandra said.

Maggie got up and hugged her father. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"I know you are, darlin'. Go on and wash up."

When Maggie left, Jake sat down next to Cassandra. "So, what's up?"

"It was what I thought. She really misses May." Cassandra sighed. "And what's worse is she can't remember what May sounded like. She says she can't talk to her anymore because May doesn't talk back. "

Jake looked pained. "Oh my poor little girl. I was afraid this was gonna happen. I tried with the scrapbooks."

"Do you have any videos? Anything with May talking? Even if it's not with the kids. Your wedding video?"

He nodded, looking relieved. "I actually . . .when May was very very pregnant, she made me record this bit for her. She intended on showing it at their high school graduation. I haven't watched it since then. I barely remember what's on it. But maybe this would work here. And there's their first birthday and first Christmas. She didn't live to see their second."

Cassandra kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand.

"There's our wedding too. I'm not sure if I have anything else really. Her parents probably have something, but these will do for now."

"I think it'll help. Did you still want me to stay tonight?"

"I think we're gonna need to have the kids get used to you sleeping over. And we're going to have to get used to having a love life with children."

"Wow, right. How does that work?"

"You wait for them to go to sleep, you lock the door and you're quiet."

* * *

After dinner, Cassandra played a game with the twins while Jake hunted through his files and got the computer hooked up to the tv.

"Alright, come on in here."

"What's going on?" Matt asked, taking a seat between Cassandra and his father on the couch. Maggie decided to sit on the floor.

"When your mama was pregnant with you, she recorded this video. And I thought since you'll be going to school soon, maybe you'd might like to see it."

"Thank you, Cassie," murmured Maggie from the floor.

"It's been a long time since I watched it, so let's see how it goes." Jake said, hitting play.

On the screen, a younger Jake appeared fiddling with the camera. "Ah, May, I can't get this damn thing straight."

Matt giggled as he heard an off screen woman's voice, "Jake, language!"

"They can't hear me and if they can it's not like they'd be offended."

"They'll hear you some day when we watch this. It doesn't matter if it's a little crooked."

A pretty young brunette waddled into view, she was very pregnant and Cassandra wondered how close to delivery she'd been.

"Mama!" cried Maggie.

"Hi Matthew and Margaret," May said, looking into the camera. "It's probably your high school graduation. And by now you're probably going by some cool nicknames. And your daddy probably has far less hair."

"Hey!" said the off screen younger Jake at the same time as the one in the living room.

"I thought I'd record these little videos at milestones in your life so I can thoroughly embarrass you when you're older. That's my job as a mama. And when you have kids of your own, you'll understand why. We're expectin' you in two weeks! And it's so excitin'."

"It's been a long 9 months, but I'm so lookin' forward to meetin' you. I hope you have your daddy's eyes and maybe his smile."

"They have your smile," Jake whispered.

 _But she was right about their eyes._ Cassandra thought, her hand sliding behind Matt to take Jake's hand in hers.

"But most of all, I hope you have a happy life. I hope that we can give you all that we never had growin' up. It wasn't always easy, daddy's family worked hard on their ranch to give the kids a better life some day. And my mother," May sighed. "Well, you will never have to worry about that. My two little ones, you'll never have your dreams cut off and put aside. Your mama and daddy are going to encourage you to fly. And I'm hopin' as we sit and watch this . . . ." She looked off screen toward his husband, "And we'll be older and grayer but we'll be so happy. We sit and watch this and you'll just have told me about how you're goin' off to the college of your dreams, or a trade program or backpackin' across Europe. Whatever it is, Daddy and I will support you. I'm makin' you that promise right now. And you'll both hold me to it."

Cassandra's hand hurt from how tightly Jake was squeezing her hand but she didn't let go. Matt was sitting on the edge of the sofa and Maggie was on her knees, staring at the screen.

And then Jake slid back into view on the screen, one hand on May's baby bump. "Makin' that promise too. Right now. You promise to make sure I keep it?"

"I promise," said May and Cassandra heard her own voice echoing the woman on the screen.

The Jake in the living room cut his eyes over to her and smiled, mouthing "thank you" to her.

"Alright now," May said. "You two are kicking like crazy, so I'm gonna go lay down. I can't wait to meet you and I love you so very very much. I'll see you both real soon. Good bye."

And then the video ended. Jake let go of Cassandra's hand and handed her a tissue from the box next to him.

The twins weren't crying though, they both looked overjoyed.

"Oh I can hear Mama again!" said Maggie.

"Me too, Mama was the best." He looked over at Cassandra. "Oh, but you're really nice too, Cassie."

Cassandra chuckled. "I'm a big fan of your mama's."

"Hey," Jake cleared his throat. "I got your first birthday party on here. Wanna watch it? You can make fun of how you both looked as babies while I talk to Cassie in the kitchen."

The kids were eager but Cassandra excused herself to go to the bathroom. When she passed back, Matt was laughing at his sister. "Oh your hair!"

"Look at yours! And the cake all over."

"Hey," she said as she watched him stick a popcorn bag in the microwave. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I said what I did. It was like it just . . . ."

"It was like she was there." Jake said softly. "I sometimes hear her when you speak. And when you sing. But when you sing you actually sound like her. When you talk you don't at all. But I guess I do have a type and you and May were it."

Cassandra smiled softly. "I said before I would have liked your May."

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jake asked picking up something in her tone.

"I feel sometimes like . . . .it's silly. I guess I feel so loved here and I sometimes feel guilty about how happy I am."

"Because of May?"

She nodded. "I only have you because she died. And that's not fair. When Maggie was crying in her room, I wished I could give you all back just so that little girl could have her mother."

"Hey," the popcorn had stopped so he quickly hit the off button before pulling Cassandra into his arms. "You gave them back their mother today. You gave them back her voice. And I wouldn't have thought of it. As for everything else, no it isn't fair. Your daddy dying wasn't fair. David leavin' you wasn't fair. But it was fate. And all we can do is make the best of life as it comes."

"I love you so much," Cassandra sniffled against his neck.

"And I love you. Look Cass, life hasn't always dealt me a fair hand. But it gave me two strong beautiful women. And because of you and May, I can handle whatever life throws at me. Okay?"

"Okay," she sniffled.

"Now, let's go eat this popcorn before it gets cold and you can laugh at the twins getting more cake in their hair then in their mouths."


	20. First Day of School

The rest of the summer had flown by. Jake took his children to Austin for the last weekend of the summer to see his sister. As nice it was to see her and her kids, Jake had found himself missing Cassandra. She couldn't make the trip because of work and he'd found it even more difficult than Father's Day weekend had been. That had been early on in their relationship and even though they'd only been together now a little over two months, she'd taken to sleeping over on the weekends. And so Saturday night without her draped over him as they slept was very lonely indeed. He wasn't sure how he was going to react going without her as their relationship continued. They still had to talk to the kids about her moving in, but she hadn't as yet re-signed her lease. So they figured when the initial craziness of school had eased up, they'd talk to the twins. And of course, bring her cat over for a visit to see how he'd react to the house. Sparky had met the kids and liked them and was now used to Jake's presence, so things would probably be okay.

Today though, Jake's thoughts were on another woman as he pulled into a parking lot and grabbed a bouquet of bright flowers off the passenger seat. A short walk later and he was kneeling beside a grave under a live oak tree with a view of the cemetery's pond. He always thought that May would have liked the spot he chose, even if he'd had to fight with her parents to bury her there and not back home in Oklahoma. It was bad enough that her mother seemed to be attempting to take the kids back with her, as if he couldn't raise them. Thank goodness his own mother had swooped in to the battle while he'd been too heavy in his own grief to do it. May hadn't wanted her kids to be brought up like she'd been. And Cassandra was the product of the same sort of mother, so he knew he had yet another ally, though Mrs. Collins had been fairly quiet as of late.

He set the bouquet against the stone, brushing invisible dust away with his hand. The grounds here were always so well kept.

"Hey baby, I know I haven't been here as often as I should be. It's been a crazy summer. I know you know all about it, but I don't know, maybe I should fill you in again?"

He shook his head, sighing at himself. "Anyway, Matt and Maggie start first grade tomorrow. First grade! Only yesterday they were born. They're getting so big. I'm not sure where Matt gets it, but he'll probably be taller than me by high school. Maggie's a little small, she always was, I know you worried about that. But the doctor has always told me that it's fine, she is on the average chart, just the shorter side. Matt's taking all of this change in stride just like always, he's just like my daddy. Maggie's been difficult lately, but I think we'll work it out. She's not fond of change, probably a little nervous. But I think it'll be better when school actually starts. She'll be fine, she's just like her mama. They miss you. We all miss you."

"I miss you. I know, I know, you're thinking but Jacob, you finally found someone. Doesn't mean I don't miss the hell out of you. I always will. Always will miss you, always will love you. I love Cassandra very much, May, but . . .I still love you. You know that. But I'm finally happy and I know that makes you happy. She's good for me. She's good for the kids. And she gets all of us and what we need. Seriously sometimes I think you were so worried about us that you sent her to us. I wouldn't put it past ya, May, if anyone could you would. " He chuckled. "I do like that, always findin' a way to take care of us. And we really are okay."

"This summer has been crazy and busy and absolutely wonderful. And not just because of Cassandra, though she's a big part of it. I'm making a change May. Putting the kids first and making an effort. I said I was just trying to put a roof over their heads, but let's face it. You know I buried myself in work so I didn't have to face my own pain. But the pain's gone now May and I bet you're breathing a sigh of relief over that. When I think of you, it's just happiness and love now. And as much as you're always gonna have that spot in my heart, I'm over the heartbreak. And I was before I met Cassandra. Which is probably why I could love her. So now you can finally rest, baby, because I'm going to be okay."

He sat back and smiled and then told May a little bit more about what the kids were up to. Then it finally got too hot even in the shade to sit there any longer.

"It's time for me to go. I love you, May."

He kissed his fingertips and touched her name on the marble. "Rest easy darlin'."

* * *

Cassandra had spent the night so she could help Jake with the kids in the morning. Eve had planned on being there as well but had come down with a nasty cold so she was sick in bed. That didn't mean she hadn't fussed over the phone to Jake the evening before with a whole list of "make sure you" and asking for photos. Jake was overwhelmed enough as it was, he really didn't need his sister making things worse.

Jake had approached the coming days of school like he was planning a military campaign. Cassandra had trouble keeping from laughing sometimes. He had color coded lists, had made a menu for a month's worth at a time of packed lunches, had school supplies portioned out with the extras in color coded tubs in the hall closet. She was seriously wondering how he was going to handle months more of school, let alone the next eleven years of this.

Although she supposed maybe she'd feel differently when it was her own children starting first grade. Though she figured by that point, she and Jake would have had years of the twins going to school to draw from.

It also didn't help that he tossed and turned most of the night. He didn't want to talk about what was troubling him, though she'd known he'd gone to see Mabel that morning. It just didn't help her own mood come morning. They'd both taken the day off of work and she figured now all she was going to do after the kids were safely off to school was go to sleep. In his bed or her own, she didn't much care at this point.

They were up early, lunch boxes and backpacks at the ready. And then Maggie decided she didn't want to wear what she and Cassandra had spent two hours the night before laying out.

Cassandra made a noise that was halfway between a sob and a laugh and Jake decided that maybe he should take a turn with Maggie. After all, he had been handing his daughter off more and more to his girlfriend and it probably wasn't that fair. It just was easier, he'd always let his mother and sisters take charge of her. But he was her father and maybe he did need to step up. So he told Cassandra to finish her coffee and went up with his daughter.

Matt rolled his eyes at their backs. "Girls," he said to Cassandra and went back to eating his cereal. Cassandra almost agreed with him. Matt was looking fairly sharp himself (and a bit like his daddy) in a short sleeved plaid button down and a pair of dark blue shorts. His only real concern school wise had been his dinosaur backpack.

In the fastest time Jake was sure he'd dressed his daughter since she was three, they were back downstairs. Maggie had kept the navy scalloped lace skirt that she and Cassandra had picked out, but now was pairing it with a pink tee shirt with a star on it. Instead of tights, she just wore white lace ankle socks and a pair of gold Mary Janes.

"Oh, you look darling," Cassandra cooed. "That is a better choice, plus you won't be so hot."

Jake started running down his lists, making sure the kids had all their supplies in their backpacks (Maggie's was Disney Princesses) as well as their lunches. The kids were just excited about the whole adventure and Cassandra was trying so hard not laugh at Jake. She knew his whole routine was there to keep him from getting too emotional, but it was a bit hilarious to watch.

Finally they were ready to walk down to the bus stop, leaving a few minutes early to get some photos first. Cassandra and Eve had both suggested taking first day of school pictures every year to continue May's scrapbooking tradition. Cassandra had never scrapbooked before, but she figured it was in her skill set and if all else failed she could just collect them into one old fashioned photo album.

They took photos and Cassandra insisted on having Jake in one. And then Jake wanted one with her in the photo . Then a passing grandmother offered to take one of everyone.

"You have a lovely family," the woman had said to Cassandra as she handed her back her phone.

"Thank you," Cassandra beamed, deciding it wasn't worth correcting the woman who had been so kind.

"Okay, let's get this over with." Jake finally sighed.

They walked with the kids the two blocks to the bus stop, though the closer they got to the stop, the slower Jake was walking compared to the kids. They ran ahead, Jake could feel each step being more and more blurred by tears. He kept telling himself that he was being silly.

But they were his babies. Just yesterday, Matt had taken his first steps from May's knee to his. It seemed like just a week ago when little Maggie had been the first of the two to call him Dada. And now they were off to school full time. Soon they would be doing science fairs and spelling bees and . . . . Before he knew it, they'd be in high school.

He'd slowed down to a stop and Cassandra's arm went around his shoulders.

"They're gonna be okay," she said. "They're your children, yours and May's. They'll do great."

"I know," Jake wiped his eyes. "I'm not worried about them. They were babies yesterday Cassie. When did they grow up?"

She put her arms around him and squeezed, then called the twins back.

"I see the bus coming, so come give us hugs."

From Cassandra they got beaming smiles and told that they would do great. Jake couldn't even speak, but he hugged both of them tightly.

"We'll be here when you get back, now have a good day, do what the teachers tell you." Cassandra said, reciting the speech that she'd heard Jake practicing. But he was just standing there staring, so overcome he couldn't say it.

"We will! Bye Cassie, Bye Daddy!" came the chorus and then the kids were boarding the bus.

They stood there until the bus pulled away and Cassandra took Jake's hand.

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," he said looking down at her and smiling. "I will. They'll do fine, you're right. I gotta get through today."

"And you will, I think you need some sleep. Let's go home and take a nap."

He put his arm around her and squeezed. "Yeah, let's go home."

The End


End file.
